Sunday, April 02, 2006


Tuttle, OK: City of Dumbasses.

Here's why — it's not that an idiot who didn't know what the computers do was taking care of the system, and it's not even that he jumped the gun and made slanderous (libelous?) accusations out of his own ignorance, the pomposity that he treated the whole situation or that he thinks that the people who make this nation run (and that is what the geeks and freaks do, by the way).

It's that his boss supports his unrepentant idiocy.

“He was not being that rude. He was protecting the city’s website,” [Mayor] Paxton said.
[Write up in the local paper.]

Mayor Paxton, may I postulate that you are embezzling? May I instruct you to return money to the city fund before I contact the FBI and IRS? May I threaten to contact the local sherrif and swear out a complaint?

Sure, I don't know your budgetting process. I also don't know how much money is used, by whom, or how. Just like the dumbass you have managing the networks doesn't understand what he's doing. He should be disciplined before you are sued. You claimed that legitimate software was the work of a hacker. This could adversly affect the reputation and hirability of the programmers. You could be on the hook for millions.

I hope you are. You bunch of dumbasses.
Glad I got that off my chest.

Friday, February 03, 2006

All the Little Hitlers...

I distinctly remember a tiff erupting. I remember me writing "fascist". I remember someone else thinking I'd written "Hitler". Strong words were said. Friendships eroded.

Today, justification cometh.

Even Donnie Rumsfeld can't keep from pulling out the Hitler.

Who? Who could possibly compare to the madman who tried to wipe out Jew and gypsie and Catholic?

Earlier this week, US defence secretary Donald Rumsfeld likened Mr Chavez to Adolf Hitler, describing both as leaders who were "elected legally and then consolidated power". [Full article]

To paraphrase the Daily Show (I believe), "You know who was a real Hitler? Hitler." Everyone else doesn't quite measure up.

I love it when the other side does the exact same thing they claim their "wrong-headed" opponent of.

Friday, January 20, 2006

What are you people still doing here?

What the hell has Shawn been up to lately?

Shawn's ben working like a regular mofo. Shawn's been working so hard, in fact, that he has taken to speaking in the third person. He does this because the level of work that he is performing requires him to allow his soul to drift from his body. Not really in an astral projection kind of way, but really more of a escape-from-the-situation-during-a-prison-rape sort of way. Not that Shawn would know anything about prison or prison rape.

Most people tend to enjoy Shawn's work at Crudely Drawn Comics, especially if they know his brother, unless they are directly related to Shawn, in which case they bitch incessantly about being in more of the comics.

Tied into this is ADL Fun, an entertainment site intended for the 25-55 crowd. Mob? Segment. Shawn doesn't know how to refer to these people. Regardless, the site hosts content for advice columns, movie reviews, music opinion, game reviews, sports, politics, and more! Shawn's quite proud of this towering achievement in site development and looks forward to seeing you there.

Ah, Ferris Bueller, is there nothing you can't teach us?

Sunday, September 18, 2005

This is an outrage!!!

The multiply-disappointing awful series, led down the rabbit-hole of rampant mediocrity by Patricia Arquette, just saw her win an Emmy for lead actress in a drama.

Honestly, I demand a recount. Of an education in taste for the academy. Whatever is necessary. Sheesh.

However, the always wonderful Felicity Huffman gave one of the best acceptance speeches I've ever heard.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Onion gets it Right

Bear in mind that even Rick Santorum is backing off from the Prez.
Tomorrow, I'm walking Jen through the posting process.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


At the rally Sunday, Mike Miller, 54, of Gallatin echoed many of the speakers comments on judicial power, saying he believes Supreme Court justices try to create laws with their rulings instead of interpreting the Constitution.

"Activist justices -- we're trying to find out what we can do to stop that activity," he said. "Our laws are based on the Ten Commandments."
[Emphasis mine. Source]

Wrong. The correct answer is English law. American laws are based on English law. If you want to go to the heart of the Declaration of Independence or Constitution, it would be more inspired by Voltaire. More historical than that? Try "The Code of Hammurabi".

Why? Because there's one "commandment" that's kind of a bargain (honor your parents so "that you may long endure on the land that the Lord your God is assigning to you") and there's no other schedule of fees or punishments associated with breaking such rules. Hammurabi wrote all that kind of stuff down. Hammurabi was charged to bring righteousness to the land and acknowledged his gods, but the code (even considering the large sections that are missing) doesn't say a word about honoring, coveting, or keeping anything holy.

Why do I feel it's necessary to point this out? Our nation (only founded under God in the mid-1950s) was founded without any clause, law, or amendment recognizing God or God's will. No instruction for worship nor any penalty for failure to worship. Bear in mind that English law provided both of these, and the official church and state are co-mingled.

Which should remind us that England's church was founded to prevent foreign control over domestic affairs and although heavily based on other Christian service, the Anglican church was something altogether and all other worship was outlawed.

So, for those who want America to co-mingle church and state, consider this polemic: would you want Congress or the President to determine what songs you sing on Sunday?

As an exercise, let's go by the numbers, from's King James version.

Exodus 20:1-17
1 And God spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
I was not delivered from Egypt, therefore this agreement is null and void.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Are other gods allowed, so long as they are not more prominent?
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
Mount Rushmore. Enough said.
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
What part of the USC would this be under?
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
When does NASCAR race?
12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
You shouldn't have to bribe me; all the same, it couldn't be backed up by law. How could that be enforced?
13 Thou shalt not kill.
Unless in self-defence or in the commision of duties to the government. Fully covered by law. At last, we have found convergence.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Show me the state where this is still enforced.
15 Thou shalt not steal.
Another one covered by modern law, although it really doesn't explain "steal". Taking credit for other people's work, greedy CEOs, copyright violations — how does it all break down?
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
Depending on the context, this might be covered by some laws (perjury, slander, and libel come to mind). However, unless it is part of a court case or can be shown to cause some damage, it's really not breaking any law. If it's slanderous or libelous, all you can hope for is a financial settlement.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
Coveting drives the economy. Even if you consider "coveting" as wanting something to the exclusion of others, there are plenty of times when that is encouraged. Definitely not unlawful.

And there you have it. A nation based on Two of the Ten Commandments.

Oh, and if any of the speakers were in any way compensated, please ensure their immediate stoning. It was a Sunday: they are forbidden to work. Bunch of hypocritical fuckers.

Yes, I had been waiting a long time for this rant. All it takes is one dumbass out there — in this case, Mike Miller of Gallatin, TN — to make it all come out. I even ZabaSearched the guy to find a phone number, I was so pissed.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Notes On Disney

Good gravy this is old. That is the only reason I now release it, unedited and full of all the joy and bile in equal parts.

To All Foreign Guests: I do not know you personally. Please refrain from coming into physical contact with me. Such as mangaging to bump into my back every time the line moves. If you are a parent, now is an excellent time to teach your children to not bump into Americans. And to the French speakers who pushed in front of me on the ferry and then got loud and kept pushing me back, I hope you die horribly. And to all of your female relatives I undressed with my eyes, I regret nothing.

To All Disney Guests: Follow the freakin' rules. If smoking is so important to you, stay home and smoke it up. And then, if you aren't going to listen to the employee who tells you to move to the right, don't give me a dirty look as I zoom past you with a sleeping kid because I can listen for and follow instructions.

To Me: Don't get upset with Dante when you've kept him out all night to maximize the use of the Disney tickets. You're an idiot. Congrats on not overspending, though.

To Dante: Please remember how much fun you had. Please forget about that time I got upset with you in the Norway exhibit. Just keep in mind that no matter how upset I was with you, it's nothing like I feel about those French-speakers on the ferry.
It's a small world after all.