Friday, September 03, 2004

Don't get me wrong

I'm all for girl-on-girl-on-girl-on-girl-on-guy-on-sheep action (which, I guess, makes me a Democrat — whatever), and I've watched a few Michael Moore films. And a few Woody Allen movies. And I laughed really loud at Jesse Jackson reading "Green Eggs and Ham" on Saturday Night Live, if that counts as support.

Would I beat up a cop on a moped? No. Would I beat up an undercover pro-establishment agitator? Well, there, the line gets a little fuzzy.

Don't worry. I'm in Florida, I'm voting, and I have a secret plan to ensure that the election goes to the Democrats. No, I will not discuss it. No, it has nothing to do with hacking into the polling machines. No, you cannot guess it. Yes, I will get email about it. I don't mind. I'm doing my little part, and for that, I am a patriot.
I'm a lover, not a fighter — unless I'm wrestling, and then I'm gonna kick a$$. Unless my partner is female, in which case I'm interested in pinning. No, I do not require your aforementioned vegetable oil. Unlike the war in Iraq, my skill in the bedroom is not predicated on oil.


Post a Comment

<< Home