Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Kerry and I Have Something in Common!

We both have billionaire wives who lavishly spend their inheritance on us!

No, actually, we both own Chinese Assault Rifles.

From the September 17th Outdoor Life Magazine:
OL: Are you a gun owner? If so, what is your favorite gun?

Bush: Yes. My favorite gun is a Weatherby, Athena 20-gauge (over/under).

Kerry: My favorite gun is the M-16 that saved my life and that of my crew in Vietnam. I don’t own one of those now, but one of my reminders of my service is a Communist Chinese assault rifle.

To paraphrase Glenn Reynolds, is there any question that this guy will answer without mentioning Vietnam?

I wonder what else we can expect in the future . . .
Good Housekeeping: Do you clean house? What's your favorite vacuum cleaner?

Bush: I guess we've got a Hoover . . . the red one with the fabric bag?

Kerry: I prefer the Colt Model 1911 in .45ACP. I used it to save the lives of my men in Vietnam and it does a great job on the windows. I also have a Sherman Tank.

Or, from Popular Mechanics:
PM: Every guy wants to know - Snap-On or Craftsman?

Bush: My toolbox is really a mix - I've got some Husky in there, some Snap Ons - I've got a 3/8" Craftsmen ratchet driver that's really nice.

Kerry: I like to use a rusty nail and a bent pin to remove the safeties from the Claymores we strung around the Aspen house. When I'm working on my JU-87 Stuka Dive Bomber, I like to listen to the soundtrack from Apocalypse Now Da da da DA DA! Da da da DA DA! Da da da DA DA! Da da da daaa!!!!.

I always try to do things in threes . . .
Seventeen: What's the best advice you gave to your teenage daughters?

Bush: Keep their faith in Christ, make good choices and understand that you'll have to live with them for a long time.

Kerry: Stay the hell out of my foot locker! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, there are things in there that can freaking hurt you! We're not talking about the pointy things on the backsides of medals, I'm talking about grenades filled with phosgene gas - and worse! And don't even look at that home-made pistol I took off a dead gook - that damn thing has been waiting years to go off! You get your face messed up with that acid-spitting viper I keep in there and even Mama San at the Lucky Sin Loi whorehouse back in Saigon won't even have you. Keep out, goddammit!

I miss Bill Clinton. I honestly miss the scoundrel. I can hardly wait to see him on the campaign trail in 2008.


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