Friday, February 20, 2004

Youse guys too, eh

Take this quick quiz and discover how southern you are (or aren't).

Proud to say that I'm 2/3rds Dixie. That would explain the Sorels drying in my office right now.
Watching a teevee show doesn't make you elitist. TiVoing it and submitting to TWOP doesn't make you elitist either. But they are strong indications of cluelessness.


McMahon: Hi, I'm Ed McMahon. Tonight on Fox, from the producers of "When Skirts Fall Off," and "Secrets of National Security Revealed," it's, "World's Deadliest Executions." [curtains part, revealing an electric chair. The audience cheers wildly]

[the scene shifts to the Simpsons, who are watching from home]
Homer: The chair? Ohh ... how come they only do crucifixions during sweeps?

Personally, I watch The Simpsons, Trek and various cartoon shows with David. Especially Kim Possible on Disney. But, I'm in the office until 9:30 - 10:00, so I can join the chorus of annoying people the world over who say "Hmph. *I* don't watch television."

The difference is that I'd like to.
Hey, rook! Headers are in H3 - get with the program!

Television Shows

For Libertarians and Conservatives I think that John Stossel's Totally outrageous Welfare cheats - Caught on Tape would be a great place to start.

Then of course for the general Right wing masses:

Greatest moments in Texas Executions brought to you by the fine folks at Ty Treadwell's Famous Last Suppers

You think after 12 hours I could have come up with a snappier answer to Shawn's question

Our heroic EPA

NASA has been forced to accede to EPA demands that work proceed with disposal of LUT 1 [Launch Umbilical Tower 1], which has been classified as "hazardous waste" due to its eroding paint surface.

On February 12th, the disposal work has re-started. Nevertheless, the cutting of the main structure will not begin for about two more weeks, probably in the week starting March 1st, giving us that much time to find a donor or business investor committed to preserving this historic artifact from the most incredible achievement ever undertaken by mankind.

I can hardly wait for the day that my son and I can go to the Cape and I can tell him that it was the only way to go - that having those trace elements of poisons hanging around was just too risky for children and other living things.
It almost brings a tear to your eye, the bravery shown by those guys at EPA - they will be remembered like Armstrong, Collins and that other guy.

More non-record stuff, I guess

I don't know how many NASCAR events, other than Indy, takes place in the Midwest. In fact, I only knew a couple of NASCAR fans in Wisconsin (all in Milwaukee, by the way). I know of more Southern NASCAR stuff. Charlotte, NC, Florence, SC, Daytona, FL. So, you see, I don't associate NASCAR with the Midwest at all.

Just poor, Southern white trash.

Excluding my sister, of course, who's a huge fan. Scarily huge. Despite my explanation to her that it's just a bunch of cars executing a series of left turns.

Go on, call me elitist. Say that living in New York (and now liberal Massachusetts!) has tainted me. Say it. Say it!

Does the Fly-Over Country Not Get Entertainment News?

Sorkin left the show last season. Still no lights.
Fox Mulder: "Do you really have to wait for the credit card to clear?" Fortune Teller: "Last I heard, the Government couldn't pay its bills."

Thursday, February 19, 2004

There ain't no damn record! This here's an inter-net

<redstate>Out in in th' fly-over country, we jes' like t'watch th' paint dry on our #52 Home Depot Spnsored Ford Thunderbird NASCAR</redstate>
Hey, Sorokin - tell your lighting designer that there are lights in almost every office in DC these days!! These people light their offices like they pay the power bills!

That goes doubly true for the guys on CSI - isn't the evidence easier to see in the light?

For the record

Dwarf tossing != chucking

Unless the person suffering from achondroplasia is, in fact, named "Chuck", I suppose.

We Are What We Watch

What, pray tell, do Conservatives watch?

It appears that what the other wing watches depends soley on income.

People in the $250,000 and more department appear to watch golf.

People in the $50,000 and less department appear to watch NASCAR.

Everyone in between just watches their jobs, savings, and hopes for the future disappear.

I like the West Wing because it's well delivered (even when I don't agree with its content). I like the thought of a bunch of intelligent people in a room, speaking very quickly. Show me something right wing that isn't way too WASPy (golf) or speaks slowly and repetitively or goes for the crudest or cruelest effects ("reality" TV, et al), and I'll watch it.

Dwarf Tossing

A chant for dwarf-tossing:
This dwarf is made for tossing,
and thats just what he'll do,
One of these days this dwarf,
is gonna toss all over you...

This requires you have access to a dwarf. According to the offical rules "Typically he should be willing to participate, although this is left up to the individual rules."

Liberals watch the West Wing. No offence meant just trying to answer Brian's Question.

International Efforts

The ICC is working at both the international level through its reporting, reviewing and suspension procedures and at the domestic level where it is ensuring each country is developing an effective system to address any concerns[More...]
I'm glad that the international community is finally looking for a "clear, fact-based understanding of what actually takes place" and addressing at least one individual "whose action has come under the closest scrutiny over the years". My only hope is that the various commissions will not be misled by claims of "congenital deformity'.

Now, if only someone could explain to me what "chucking" is.
If only we took politics as seriously as we take sports.

I got the "joke".

Since it wasn't "funny" and the topic is, well, topical, I thought I'd weigh in. Sadly, I have no pictures of hotties to post.
Next time, add a <joking> tag.


The joke was in the caption of the photo, not in the story.
Who the hell watches West Wing?


Well, let's look for Teresa Heinz-Kerry and Botox and see what we get: Googling "heinz kerry botox botox botox" gets you 2600 hits, including such journalistic luminaries as the Washington Times (owned by the Reverend Sun Moon) and the New York Daily News (a rag). On the first page, the last few links are foreign.

Teresa has loudly credited Botox. As we've all seen on the West Wing, no one wants a First Lady giving a President injections without him being completely aware of what the injections are, so clearly JfK does know about Botox (at least in theory) or his wife, THK-1138 (sorry — got carried away with the acronyms) doesn't really have a speaking relationship with him or he really is just very well rested. Sure. Like Berlusconi.

If we want a youthful, intelligent, powerful senator to be our next president, there is a natural alternative.

See, I thought the way Teresa maintained her Mozambiquan good looks was by smearing ketchup all over her body every day.

Kerry camp angered by Botox questions

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Democratic presidential front-runner John Kerry does not mind talking about his battle with cancer but his campaign bristled at media suggestions that he has had Botox injections to soften his craggy looks.

"He has absolutely, absolutely not had Botox treatments. You would think his opponents would have something else to talk about beside John Kerry's looks," the senator's spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter told the Washington Times.

Senator Kerry responds to allegations of plastic surgery, in a daring
deep plunge one piece by Falco of Vienna

Blute and Scotto, hosts of a talk show on WRKO radio in Boston, Kerry's home city, asked him on Tuesday whether he denied ever using Botox or other kinds of cosmetic surgery.

"Absolutely, I've never even heard it," Kerry responded. "I've never even heard of it."

"With three million jobs lost in America and 500 dead soldiers in Iraq you'd think that everybody would be talking about something other than Botox," the Kerry spokeswoman was quoted as saying.

The man lives with a heiress and has never heard of Botox? And he's more fit to handle intelligence reports then the present guy?

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Required Reading

Clarke's interview in the latest AVClub, once again, explains everything you ever wanted to know about anything.

Why does a reactionary conservative enjoy the musings of an aged homosexual ex-pat so much? It's a mystery to me, too. Truth be known, ACC would probably dismiss me with a wave of his hand and a condescening "Bah!" I would, of course, be back for more.

Fountains of Paradise the movie? Bestill my beating heart. Ed Harris as Van Morgan, please. Or Tucker Smallwood. Not Russel Crowe.
Bird Monitoring is related to the 1990s scifi show Space: Above and Beyond. If you were watching it, you weren't too busy cashing in on the internet bubble.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

And how do we feel about Europeans meddling about over here?

Let's see:

In fact, when it comes to mucking around with governments in North and South America, we prefer a monopoly. Actually, we prefer to be the only ones messing around with other people's government, period!
I like Terry's company's plan but I still don't get Brian's reference. Does that make me 1 for 2 on the blog? Do I get extra points for the Clone Troopers post?

France Holds Emergency Meeting on Haiti

PARIS - France's government gathered an emergency team Tuesday to deal with the increasingly dangerous situation in former colony Haiti and was weighing whether peacekeepers could intervene to calm the impoverished island's bloody uprising.

[ . . . ]

"What can France do specifically? First, we want to reflect on what could be done urgently. Can we deploy a peacekeeping force? We are in contact with all of our partners in the framework of the United Nations, which has sent a humanitarian mission to Haiti to see what is possible," he told France Inter radio.

You can't do anything. You're France for God's sake.
"Cue the Sierra Leonese chanting U-S-A! U-S-A! on 3-2-1 . . . "

I don't get the reference

As an aficionado of Manifestos it’s a cool idea! Imagine a Shockwave manifesto, why don’t I think of these things. Now to the content of the manifesto: You own your Life, it’s true and I’m in 99% agreement with the e-manifesto. That’s where my problem with this manifesto begins. Look all the guy did was take Atlas Shrugged remove the theme from it and stick it in a flashy animation. Now if this Manifesto was about the Time Cube it would qualify as a first rate Manifesto of historic proportions. But instead our writer whimpped out and used someone else’s ideas. Bad whacko no biscuit.

Freedom is wasted on us since most of us don’t know what to do with the freedom we have.

Why am I still a wage slave

Olympus Mons

Check out the latest pics from the ESA mars Mission. Still no sign of Beagle buy hey they found the other one

I wouldn't really call it a plan it was more of a: "Well, we are gonna do what we did last year, only this year we are gonna try to make money"

Monday, February 16, 2004

Who Monitors the Birds?

Try not to stick around too long here. I suspect at the end of it you'll be lining up to buy Dianetics II.
If you get the reference in the title, you wasted your time in the 1990s.