Friday, March 19, 2004


The FCC now gets to regulate "profane" speech?

Forgive me for looking it up, but is "f***ing" profane, and if it is, whose deity does it offend? How does the FCC determine which deities to use? If Mikey Powell were instead Mikey Patel, does that mean that the Simpsons could get pulled because of they made fun of monkey gods?

I mean, we're talking about the Constitutionally-guaranteed Freedom of Speech here. It's not like we're talking about whizzing into a mouth-shaped urinal or anything.
I love how they de-emphasize the teeth.


Perhaps you're thinking of, "Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances."

To me, it came off as arrogant and wrong-headed as, say, "It's a good thing that the demands of the United Nations were enforced, not ignored with impunity." I say this considering that the UN told us not to go in because the weapons inspectors said there were no stockpiles. I say this because we believe that we can act without regard to the UN, with complete impunity.

If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine — but don't quote Star Wars at me and be surprised by a response.
Israel also ignores the UN. Should we invade them?


So Terry how did the Arabic and Islamic Studies class go?

Political Correctness is alive and well. The instructor emigrated from Egypt
30 years ago, he is a Christian. We reviewed the syllabus. One of the class
sessions was going to be Terrorism - Why they Hate us. The American born Islamic
palestinian in the class objected and a couple of the other students who
were faculty jumped all over that and tried to have the course contents
changed. Less the palestinian be offended. As far as I was concerned the
palestinian had every right to disagree with the instructor. But we
shouldn't change the course out of fear of a controversial topic. I kept my
mouth shut for about 45 minutes (we were still discussing the syllabus)
listening to the hand wringing finally I said:

"No one wants to talk about the 2000 pound elephant in the corner, that
elephant is Islamic Terrorism. I suspect that this classes reaction to the
discussion would be different if we were going to focus on the IRA and Irish
terrorists. As far as I'm concerned they both just idiots who kill people.
The fact is that Islamic terrorism is real, just today 27 people were killed
in a hotel. We cannot pretend that this issue does not exist."

That seemed to get things moving along. I found the class interesting. I
suspect that class will be cancelled. Followed up by a different class which
will be a more 'sensitive' treatment of the issues lead by the palestinian.

FWIW the palestinian works with The Wife and she heard about the class from The Wife.
It was clear to me that the palestinian was there to cause problems, of
course if you were to ask her she'd say that she was just their to learn.
The Wife feels really bad that she ever mentioned it.


Simply Amazing

Despite all evidence to the contrary, we have a group of people in this country who are convinced that radical Islam is not at war with the West and that all our problems started when Bushitler was selected, not elected.


I'm not even going to debate this matter. Final entry on this subject.
This level of denial hasn't been seen since Tarkin looked out the port and said "They're just small fighters . . . "

White Man's Unburdening

Ah, Rudyard.

How does this apply to today? Is someone extorting money? Who invaded what? And to what end?

I understand "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie..." (thank you Felicia Bond), but what about "If You Congratulate a Bully Who Used Bad Intelligence to Justify Pulling All of His Military Resources Off the Good Fight In Order to Make His Father Look a Little Less Silly"?

No Al Qaeda connection. We knew where Osama bin Laden was. We packed up the military and shipped them off before we had accomplished our mission...

...making not just the United States, but the entire world less safe.

In Kipling-esque essence, we beat the hell out of Norway rather than pay our Dane-geld — and yet the Dane is still there!

I must ask: What is that on his head?

Thursday, March 18, 2004

From The Man himself

IT IS always a temptation to an armed and agile nation,
    To call upon a neighbour and to say:—
“We invaded you last night—we are quite prepared to fight,
    Unless you pay us cash to go away.”

And that is called asking for Dane-geld,
    And the people who ask it explain
That you’ve only to pay ’em the Dane-geld
    And then you’ll get rid of the Dane!

It is always a temptation to a rich and lazy nation,
    To puff and look important and to say:—
“Though we know we should defeat you, we have not the time to meet you.
    We will therefore pay you cash to go away.”

And that is called paying the Dane-geld;
    But we’ve proved it again and again,
That if once you have paid him the Dane-geld
    You never get rid of the Dane.

It is wrong to put temptation in the path of any nation,
    For fear they should succumb and go astray,
So when you are requested to pay up or be molested,
    You will find it better policy to says:—

“We never pay any one Dane-geld,
    No matter how trifling the cost,
For the end of that game is oppression and shame,
    And the nation that plays it is lost!”

-- Rudyard Kipling, date unknown.

But hey, he was just a colonial white guy, so what does he know.
The gent in the photograph was once heard to remark during an inspection, "This old thing? I just threw it on."

What do the toilets look like?

This is in bad taste. One should not be reminded of golden showers when one is relieving himself in the overpriced lounge of Virgin Atlantic.

In the complicated mores of the early 21st C., though, if I were to say that perhaps there are men who would not like these and would like to see their removal, I could be called a censor and a tool of the Bushitler AshKKKroft RepugliKKKan machine.

If I were a woman, calling out to Virgin Atlantic to remove these as they are demeaning to women, I would be called heroic - somebody willing to stand up to faceless corporate giants.

But instead I say that this is tasteless, that it is without merit and is devoid of any artistic content. And I say that Virgin Atlantic should always be remembered as the airline that bought wacko po-mo urinals instead of lowering airfares, as much as Braniff should be remembered for the weird camo paint jobs they gave their jets before folding.
The madman on the beach is one of my fellow veterans. Are you questioning our patriotism? Huh? Are you? Are you, Mr. I-went-to-Alabama-and-all-I-got-was-this-lousy-hangover? Huh?

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Harry? No. Ollie? You bet!

I knew there was a reason I kept Ollie's claws. Here it is.
Gay Road Trip?

Tuesday, March 16, 2004


It Lives!

Have a happy and productive St. Patty's day, Jen's Birthday, St. Urho's Day and Duey's Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Jen!

My sister is, finally, much older than the rest of us. She has firmly ensconced herself well into the age range known as "The 30s". Tolerating such an advanced age might be difficult for some, but she has handled it with grace and elan. What would one expect for a woman born between the Ides of March and St. Patrick's Day?
The best part about having a sister who blogs very rarely is that I can post about her at will.

A Whole Lotta Pink

At first, I was a little put off by the fact that Henry Mancini's IMDB bio listed 136 items with "pink" in the title; upon further inspection, it turns out that he got a credit every time the Pink Panther theme was used in the Pink Panther cartoon.
For a second, I was starting to think that he'd been some kind of pinko.

Question to all you ballistics experts

Can you make viable ammunition out of pykrete?

Can you imagine how that could revolutionize Mafia operations? I love it when evidence evaporates before you can run a ballistics test on it.

I know that it's not terribly practical, but it would have made the whole Hoffa thing easier.

A series of Amusing Curiosities

See, Brian? You can combine the acquarium and the receptionist's computer.

I thought he wasn't a "numbers" guy

"I think if you're gonna make an accusation in the course of a presidential campaign, you out [sic -- CNN's fault?] to back it up with facts," Bush said Tuesday during a news conference with the Netherlands' Prime Minister, Jan Peter Balkenende. [More]
Suddenly, "facts" are very important and "baseless accusations" are once more intolerable.

That's right, folks, Bush is back in campaign mode and challenging Kerry to prove that the world doesn't like Bush's style of leadership.

I can guaran-frickin'-tee that the new Spanish leadership prefers Kerry.
You like my link for Bush?

Aw, come on — who's really got their head stuck under a blanket?

The Spanish who said that this was a poor casus belli and demonstrated to that effect seem to have been born out by our own retreat from our wartime rhetoric. Additionally, even though we own the land, we cannot find the WMDs we insisted were there.

How do you say, "It's the economy, stupid" in Spanish?

In honor of this momentous occasion, I offer the following:

Arise ye workers from your slumbers
Arise ye prisoners of want
For reason in revolt now thunders
And at last ends the age of cant.
Away with all your superstitions
Servile masses arise, arise
We'll change forthwith the old conditions
And spurn the dust to win the prize.

So comrades, come rally
And the last fight let us face
The Internationale unites the human race.
So comrades, come rally
And the last fight let us face
The Internationale unites the human race.

No more deluded by reaction
On tyrants only we'll make war
The soldiers too will take strike action
They'll break ranks and fight no more
And if those cannibals keep trying
To sacrifice us to their pride
They soon shall hear the bullets flying
We'll shoot the generals on our own side.

No saviour from on high delivers
No faith have we in prince or peer
Our own right hand the chains must shiver
Chains of hatred, greed and fear
E'er the thieves will give up their booty
And give to all a happier lot.
Those at the forge must do their duty
And we'll strike while the iron is hot.

Do you know who I blame?


That's right. I blame Robin. She's a sister. She shoulda said something about it. Is she not on the show? Was she sick that day? If anyone should have been immediately offended, I would have imagined that it would have been her.
I also blame Batman.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Hitchiker's Guide

What was the name of the animal that was so stupid that if you tossed your towel over your own head, it would assume that since you couldn't see it, it couldn't see you?

That would be the logic of the Spanish Socialists.

It's in the first book during the discussion about the importance of the towel immediately after the Earth is destroyed.
Liddy and Limbaugh would be called racists for not calling the caller on it. Stern is given a free ride on the racism thing. Just another double standard.

Limbaugh and Liddy

Well, if a caller made the same kind of highly offensive racist statement, I would expect these two paragons of morality to jump all over them. I imagine that with the combined legal histories of these two, they're well aware of the sanctions that could befall them.

They are, or soon will be, men of their convictions.
Actually, their callers make all kinds of offensive statements all the time; it's just couched differently. Limbaugh and Liddy's callers are different kinds of morons in that they don't make doody jokes.

Why not?

Why didn't anyone jump on the "madman" bandwagon? Especially considering that the Spanish peoples are leading the world in a return to sensibility.

I think that this is great. Spain should have plenty against their former oppressors. Spain alread had plenty of basis for wanting to kick the crap out of any Muslim. And yet, they took the explosion in the light of which it occurred: a response to the actions of their country.

Osama bin Laden's claim against America is that we based troops in his Holy Land during Gulf War I. He strikes against us, we strike against him. We decided to go into Gulf War II and build the most half-assed coalition since Grenada and Panama. bin Laden's madmen strike back.

We could keep at this for a long time. We could also wipe out every trace of them that ever existed on the planet.

We need to commit to our actions in such a way that we don't breed future generations of terror against our state.
"The battlebots and the quantum TV / There was none of that crap before 2020 / Want to get down in a cool way? / Picture yourself on a beautiful day / Segway-ing around with no place to go / You could hear Howard Stern / But you had to tune in on the XM Radio" (fade into chorus) — with mucho apologies to Everclear (especially for screwing up the rhyme scheme)