Friday, August 06, 2004

Politics According to Rorschach

Quick, tell me what you see here:

There are any possible number of answers: 1. Chimp boy making fool of himself with raw vegetables, 2. Decisive leader illustrating his point mid bite, 3. When did his hair go this curly?

I'm not going to do a point by point response to Shawn's lengthy and erudite post. No kidding - good stuff. The reason is not out of disrepect for his legitimate views, but rather out of the fact that there is nothing that I can say that will change his mind.

"Hey, look - A an autographed photograph of Kerry from 'Nam adding another VC ear to his necklace!"

"Oh yeah, how do we know the picture is real? And even if it is, shouldn't a real war time leader also have his own ear necklace? Where's W's? Didn't they have VC in the Alabama Air Guard?"

And so it goes . . .

I'm far more intrigued by the post script - are the primaries at fault for the state of our selections?

I'm slowly beginning the suspect that they are. Who votes in primaries? I sure as hell don't. I try to, but if I don't, it's not like the end of the world. It's like practice voting, and I don't need the practice.

Who donates thousands or millions of dollars to primary candidates? I like to think that my money has a chance - thus I'll only give somebody money if they've got a proven track record and a shot at the big seat.

Who even puts a primary candidates sticker on their car? I'm not even sure where to get them.

I submit, gentlemen, that the primaries have become the haven of the extreme ends of U.S. political belief. I submit that the primaries exist only to give Al Sharpton, Bob Jones University, MoveOn, the NRA, and the remaining professional advocacy groups a forum - as their voices will carry no weight during the general election, and any association with them after the primaries is often harmful!

I submit, gentlemen, that the time has come to ban the primaries, allow the parties to choose their own candidates at the convention and to leave us the hell alone until August!
My theory on drafting people for public office will be taken up at the next meeting. Quick! Everybody to the Aqua-Car! Na na na na na na na fish-car! Na na na na . . .

Poverty Genes

My Way News: Unabashed Racist Leads Tenn. GOP Primary: "Hart, 60, vows if elected to work toward keeping 'less favored races' from reproducing or immigrating to the United States. In campaign literature, Hart contends that 'poverty genes' threaten to turn the United States into 'one big Detroit'."

I always thought that it was because Johnson's War on Poverty

Mozilla Seaworm

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Mulsims. I hate these guys - Problem Solvers - Woman Fired For Eating 'Unclean' Meat: "A Central Florida woman was fired from her job after eating 'unclean' meat and violating a reported company policy that pork and pork products are not permissible"

Check out this exchange:

"(Then) shouldn't you be able to accommodate all faiths in the same lunch room?" Holfeld asked.

"We do, we can," Kweli said.

"But you've dismissed one of your employees for eating pork in the lunch room," Holfeld said.

"Yes, pork is considered unclean," Kweli said.

Mozilla Supersquid

Yeee Haaaa

The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Mozilla Waterant

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

A Plan of Any Kind Formulated; Footage of Bush Falling Off Bicycle (Again) at 11

The incumbent also has a secret plan for reducing the number of troops in Iraq by 2008 - it's called WINNING THE WAR.

Dude, where's your plan? Am I alone in remembering the hawks saying that they would have this wrapped up lickety-split? Have they not been wrong on how long the war would take, how many troops would be required, and how we would be accepted there and abroad? Forget the WMD issue for a second — they didn't get anything else right!

I'm not gonna go with my ABB stance, but I think that even I could do a better job than Bush is doing. No one in the executive branch wants to tell the Emperors (because I don't attribute all of the screw ups to Bush) that they have no clothes — largely because they don't want to end up friendless, hopeless, unemployed, in Greenland!

Sheer arrogance? My money's on Bush. Watch him smirk. He never has a serious moment. Why? Because he thinks that he's the best person in any room. If he's not the smartest person, then he's the truest hearted. He has some keen insight into what makes people tick, hence his pledge to jawbone OPEC nations to keep gas prices under $2.00. Way to go, Prez!

Let's see, a "secret" plan to bring in other nations. What could be the components?

{Begin Shawn Dream Sequence}
"Here at Kerry Policy Labs, we are feverishly working on reducing the troops in Iraq. How do we do it? The secret ingredient is humilty! While avoiding mentioning that we saved the world in the 40s, we ask other countries to commit troops to saving the world this century. In return, we will open the bidding process on contracts to reconstruct the country in question. Additionally, we employ a secret technique learned by John Kerry during his 20 years of service in the Senate. We ask the other countries what might be important to them and promise to act on those issues. Lastly, we employ John Kerry's extensive experience from the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. For the benefit of George Bush (or rather, whoever might be reading this to him) and other Republicans in general, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee works with other governments to make progress on world issues in a way that best meets the needs of the United States."
{End Shawn Dream Sequence}

Playing your cards close to your vest is a pretty well regarded method — why, just ask Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas, two of the many Supreme Court Justices who ruled that Vice President Dick Cheney essentially didn't have to answer (yet!) as to who leads him around on his dog collar. As I recall, the Bush/Cheney team addressed the issue of the California energy crisis by saying that, as former energy industry execs, they knew just what to do, but really couldn't go into it.

It's true that we didn't used to have "exit strategies." There was no exit strategy for the Civil War, the Spanish American War, WWI, or WWII, all of which went well. United States troops have always been greeted as liberators, whether in Grenada, the Phillipines, Birmingham, or Iraq. We're the toast of the world!

Willy and Joe were fighting to the death. WWII saw us destroy places more thoroughly than ever previously imagined. We only need exit strategies for wars that aren't the life or death of this country: Kuwait, Grenada, Beirut, Iraq, Mogadishu, and yes, Vietnam. All because we don't want to keep throwing good lives after bad.

We didn't go into Somalia with an exit strategy. One of the things I hated about Clinton was that he let polls determine policy to a certain extent. Because of that, he pulled us out of Somalia, and it remains a blight today. Because of that, he never committed us to Rwanda, and we still bear shame for that to this day. Exit strategies don't prepare for or predict an outcome of violence. All they do is help us determine when it's time for us to leave.

I appreciate your acknowledgement that Bush, despite his pledge of being a unifier, is, in fact, "uber-partisan". Taking that into account, what do you suggest as a remedy? I have no party affiliation. Should I be allowed to vote in the primaries? Because, if I'd had my way, Edwards would be at the top of the ticket.

Secret Plan Hinted, Zapruder Film at 11

Kerry Pledges Iraq Troop Cut Within 4 Years

BOWLING GREEN, Ohio, Aug. 1 -- John F. Kerry pledged Sunday he would substantially reduce U.S. troop strength in Iraq (news - web sites) by the end of his first term in office but declined to offer any details of what he said is his plan to attract significantly more allied military and financial support there.

In interviews on television talk shows, the Democratic presidential nominee said that he saw no reason to send more troops to Iraq and that he would seek allied support to draw down U.S. forces there. "I will have significant, enormous reduction in the level of troops," he said on ABC's "This Week."
[More . . ]

The incumbent also has a secret plan for reducing the number of troops in Iraq by 2008 - it's called WINNING THE WAR.

What is particularly galling about this is that once again we see, and the press misses, the sheer arrogance of this guy from Massachusetts. He has a plan for reducing the troops in Iraq, - "I know that as president there's huge leverage that will be available to me, enormous cards to play, and I'm not going to play them in public." IOW, you're just going to have to trust him because he knows better and he'll tell you when he's ready.
Reminded that he sounded like Richard M. Nixon, who campaigned in 1968 by saying he had a secret plan to end the war in Vietnam, Kerry responded: "I don't care what it sounds like. The fact is that I'm not going to negotiate in public today without the presidency, without the power."

And that is why you will lose, grasshopper.

We didn't used to have "exit strategies." We had victories. Willy and Joe knew that the only road home led through Berlin. Now that we have "exit strategies" we also have something else that we didn't used to see regularly - losses.
Thanks to a primary system run by party extremists, both parties can now have uber-partisan candidates that are truly unpalatable to the other side! Yum!

The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

I am shocked, shocked, that there were no questions regarding road kill. I have proudly picked lens pieces out of my chili. Gotta go get my haircut now. Really.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Sadly, I am not neat and have been known to drink wine from a box. Plus, two of my dad's half-sister and his first cousin are married.

Monday, August 02, 2004


Fer Chrissake, will somebody please give these clowns a country of their own?
GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip - In dramatic, daytime raids on Gaza City's largest hospital, Palestinian vigilantes killed two men convicted of collaborating with Israeli intelligence, shooting them at close range hours after they were admitted for wounds suffered when a grenade exploded in their jail cell Monday.

The two had confessed during their trials to helping Israeli forces kill two top Islamic militants. While killing of suspected collaborators are common, the audacious military-style operations in broad daylight with hundreds of witnesses illustrated a progressive breakdown of law and order in the Palestinian territories.
[More . . . ]

Let's review, shall we? Israel builds a wall, Palis are kept on one side, Israelis on the other. Suicide bombings disappear almost completely. Internecine warfare between factions of the PLO start in earnest. Coincidence?

This "culture" doesn't just celebrate the deaths of Jews and Christians, they would seem to be equally ecstatic over the deaths of their own people as well.
Let's not forget the long list of people who would like to see that wall come down, starting with the UN.


Everything old is new again. Same tired arguments, same washed up rhetoric. Corporations bad, oil bad, peace good, doves tasty.

These are all from "No RNC" - get it? They want no RNC. Nope. None. Can't have it, wouldn't do it.

I saw all these posters and variations thereof in Madison ten years ago. Terrence saw them in Madison fifteen years ago. My parents saw them in Madison thirty years ago. Same old tired message, same old tired themes. When W takes a 40 state sweep in this election, try to remember these posters.
Although the bit about chicks kissing is cool, even if their kissing for communism.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Ego Stroked, Film at 11

'Realtime' Talk show host Bill Maher, right, and Farenheit 9/11 director Michael Moore, left, beg Ralph Nader to drop out of the 2004 presidential race during the broadcast of the program, in Los Angeles, Friday, July 30, 2004.

Keep giving him what he wants, guys. He can do me no harm.
I'm a *huge* fan of gay divorce - there's just no margin in gay marraige for me, though.

True Story of Dante

So I took the boy fishing for the first time. Bear in mind that the little guy eats fish regularly (well, ocean fish). He reads lots of stories about fishing, so the concept is firmly in his mind.

We got up early and dug up worms. He has no problem handling those. We get to the spot and start hooking the worms. Boy's ok with that, too.

We then proceed to catch and keep 9 fish. No lie. There are about 3 we released on the spot. Unfortunately, one of the little ones Dante caught ended up coming home with us.

My mom came out and inspected the bucket. She started grabbing fish and pulling them out to look at them (she's so Southern). She came across Dante's little one. Dante asked to hold it and began petting it and cooing "Fishy" to it.

Mom and I exchanged looks of concern.

I asked Dante, "Do want to eat him?"

Dante looked up at us with a wicked grin and shouted, "Yeah!"

He might be mostly vegetarian, but the kid isn't losing his killer instinct.
I did, however, shoo him away from the cleaning of the fish. And Dad or I threw his fish into the creek out back.

Use the Farce

Talking with Dad this morning: Suppose I wanted to start a church to practice religion in my own way and receive those sweet tax breaks. Let's call it the First Church of the Jedi. Let's say I attract enough practioners that it could be a viable church.

Can other churches shoot me down, saying that my church is a farce, that it violates the sanctity of religion? From what I understand, nearly every religion states that all others are invalid, so unless we have a state religion, their claims must not have any legal standing.

If this is the case, then why is it that I can tell two gay guys who've been together longer than I have in either of my marriages that their love must not be officially recognized as that would take away from the sanctity of my marriage/divorce cycle?

I'm Shawn Laasch, and I approve this message.