Friday, September 24, 2004

LDS Fun



Why is the LDS Baptisimal Suit Water-Repellent? Isn't getting wet the whole purpose of a baptism?
I'd forgotten how funny the Landoverbaptist hate mail section is.

Umm I don't know


Why is the First Lady spending time planning Christmas at the Whitehouse, while our boys are roasting their 'nads off in Iraq?

The Assault-wepons ban was always about form not function.

Cuban Terrorists now those are terrorists I could support.

Speaking as one atheist to another, we are a mono-theistic nation get used to it. I think it's kind of cute. You know we've got our own little creator, and we all get together and pray to her/him. It's harmless like collecting Furby dolls. The punch line comes when they die and realize that was their exsitance, and they lived it for a Furby doll. Living your life for someone else is a sin is the worse sin a person can make. In fact if we were Hold on --- Ayn, you get back up on that bookshelf you aren't part of this post. Sorry about that. Now where was I? Oh yeah it's all about Furby Dolls.

Nope my family went from Northern Ireland to New York after the civil war. But yes it is quite possible that their is an IRA connection. Family lore has it that we are related to Bernadette Devlin. As an Irish Catholic my sympathies for the IRA ended on 9/11.

And finally as Bart Simpson says: "All wars are bad except for The Revolutionary War, and World War II."

Oh now look at what you've gone and done. Ayn is up there pouting and Orwell can't seem to get her to calm down.

Point/Counterpoint


If these terrorist groups must be cut off from funding (at all costs?), then why does the Justice department have more people working on cutting off funds from Cuba than on Al Qaeda? Why is John Ashcroft subpoenaing medical records from universities to determine if they have performed partial birth abortions? Why is Congress spending its precious time studiously ignoring the assault weapons ban that could easily slip guns in the hands of terrorists and trying to limit the powers of the court in regard to a phrase added to the Pledge of Allegiance in the 1950s?

As for the IRA, are you sure that no one in your family never sent any money that way? As for the Mason-Dixon line, didn't your family hang out in Halifax until the War of Northern Aggression ceased? The war that seemed like such a good way to clean the dirty Irish off the streets of New York city?

I'm not going to say that all wars are bad and racist. I'm not going to say that one man's terrorist is another's freedom fighter. I do think there are absolute moral judgments about the goals and means for both cases. If we'd been invaded by the USSR, I'd be doing my best to recreate crucial scenes from "Red Dawn". Why? Because, just like President Bush said, I wouldn't like it very much if my country was being occupied.
Yeah, Brian, I'm a son of a bitch. What of it?

Recursive Blog-Definition of Terrorist Groups


The Comfy Chair - A Jarring Chord: "And if anyone has given donations to these groups, they should be investigated as well. Yeah, I'm talking to you Henry Wirz, if that is your real name."

I’m not sure what my nom de plume has to do with this. Trust me my sympathies lay north of the Mason-Dixon line. Life (and MacKinlay Kantor) dealt Henry Wirz a shit sandwich. I feel bad for him.

The groups you mentioned including the IRA are terrorists whose funding must be stopped.


Gordon Lightfoot must be stopped at all costs

Wacko Alert


Star-Telegram | 09/24/2004 | CBS source denies plotting with Kerry: "Burkett said he has had four seizures since being identified as CBS' source and being dogged by the media. He said he and his wife have also received hate mail and death threats, and he believes that his phones have been tapped.

"Everything having to do with me has been basically tapped," he said."

The last time I checked the RNC was looking to give this guy the Presidential Medal of Freedom. It is unlikely that the DNC is tapping his phone. Rather, the DNC is praying that Gaya will open a sink hole and swallow him up.

This guy has zero credibility. As much as I'd like to believe that he and Lockhart schemed to coordinate the CBS report with the "Child of Privilege" campaign. It is clear that he is a few fries short of a happy meal.


Mozilla Superbird

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Full Court Press



      The CIA's July report outlines three possibilities for Iraq, ranging from "an Iraq whose stability would remain tenuous" to "civil war," according to the New York Times. [1]


      Senator Chuck Hagel (NE), a Republican, says: "The worst thing we can do is hold ourselves hostage to some grand illusion that we're winning. Right now, we are not winning. Things are getting worse." [2] "The fact is, we're in trouble. We're in deep trouble in Iraq." [3]


      Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) also supports releasing the NIE [4] and says: "We made serious mistakes right after the initial successes by not having enough troops there on the ground, by allowing the looting, by not securing the borders." [3]


      Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC), says "he believes the situation in Iraq is going to get worse before it gets better, adding that he believes the administration has done a 'poor job of implementing and adjusting at times.'" and says "We do not need to paint a rosy scenario for the American people...." [3]


      Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN) says it's "exasperating for anybody look at this from any vantage point." [1]



[1] New York Times: U.S. Intelligence Shows Pessimism on Iraq's Future
September 16th, 2004

[2] Washington Post editorial: Mr. Bush and Iraq
September 18th, 2004

[3] Washington Post: Three GOP Senators Urge Refocusing of Iraq Policy
September 19th, 2004

[4] 'FOX News Sunday', September 19th, 2004, transcript

How much more do we really need to say?
Stop! You're killing a kitten!!! Why won't anyone ever think about the kittens?

Color me confused


Counties colored in red have confirmed blue mold as of 12:30 PM, August 19, 1998


Shouldn't the counties be colored in Blue?
Are you sure all those kittens are dead?

Definition of Terrorist Groups


Did I miss something? Are "terrorist groups" only associated with Islam? 'Cause if not, we should be looking into the November 17 boys that are left in Greece, the Basque Separatists in Spain, the Algerians in France, the Radical Christians in the US, and the IRA.

And if anyone has given donations to these groups, they should be investigated as well. Yeah, I'm talking to you Henry Wirz, if that is your real name.
To paraphrase David Letterman, now that we have neutralized Cat Stevens, can Gordon Lightfoot be far behind?

That Venerable 80's Icon PONG.


*** PONGMECHANIK ***: "Die Pongmechanik - Faszination des Urspr?nglichenInteressant ist der Vergleich dieser beiden gegenl?ufigen Entwicklungen: Zum einen ist da der Computer, der sich aus seiner tief in der Realität verwurzelten physischen Präsenz herausgelöst hat und zu einem abstrakten, grauen Kasten mit letztendlich unsichtbarem Inhalt geworden ist. Die elektronischen Bauteile in seinem Inneren sind so klein und arbeiten so schnell, daß sich die Informationsverarbeitung unserer Wahrnehmung völlig entzieht."

For those of you who don't know German

"We are clever Germans, we have built an elctro-mechanical pong game. We did not use IC's. Watch our video it is very cool. You know we really could have won that war. You never see clever Americans do anything as nearly as cool as electro-mechanical pong games." If the translation seems a little short keep in mind that German much like Dutch is a very inefficient language.

Well, I'd have to agree with you Gunter. You are indeed a clever German and this is the coolest thing to come out of Germany since Beer, Jet Engines, and Rockets. As that other great 80's icon used to say, I pitty the Fool who doesn't go and watch the video of this game.

Those poor, poor kittens.

A Dear Cat Letter


Yahoo! News - Cat Stevens Calls U.S. Deportation 'Ridiculous': "A law enforcement official said the United States had information that Islam, who last visited the United States in May, had donated money to the militant Islamic group Hamas."

Dear Cat:

If'n you wanna come visit us, then don't be giving your money to Hamas.


Sincerely,

The Red part of the Map.


PS Thanks for the 911 money and condemnation but you still can't be giving money to Hamas.


OMG! What have I done to all those poor little kittens?

"If you're explaining, you're losing." — Karl Rove



Terrence is waiting for a defense from the adherents to the Religion of PeaceTM. I am waiting for a cogent defense of Kerry that doesn't rely upon attacks on the present administration.


Are you really trying to control the agenda? How masterful! Distracting by trying to get the politically correct to defend a religion (Dammit, Jim, I'm an atheist, not a theologian) is typical Hannity style (had to change the channel before I would throw something at the TV again!).

However, asking for me to defend my guy (yep, he sure is) without smacking on the Prez is just beautiful. In fact, let's reframe the alternate:

Defend Bush's lackluster then shameful debacle of an administration without attacking the challenger.

Weird, huh? Once you can't call him a cheese-eating French sympathizer, you're kind of out of steam? You want me to talk about Kerry? Let's see you get to work on your candidate. You know? The one who said that the intelligence community provided overwhelming evidence that Iraq was an immenent threat to America (event though false) but then called the assessment of Iraq as a country falling apart at the seams as "guesswork" (even though it's true). (Bush's defense on that? America apparently has too many TVs. Well, duh! We went out and bought them like you told us to on September 12th. Don't you remember anything you say??).

I'm getting tired of having to play the Opposite Game. Rules?

      If a Republican says it, the exact opposite is in fact true. Example? "The economy has turned a corner!"

      If a Republican makes an accusation, it's in fact true of them. Example? "Kerry's a flip-flopper" (see Bush's reliance on intelligence above for the answer to this)

      If a Republican decries a technique but finds that their whines fall on deaf ears, they will stoop to outright lies. Example? 527s are bad! Like these Swift Boat Vets we're secretly funding! Bad, bad 527s! Get rid of all of them!!

      When the facts are against a Republican, Deny, Distract, and Defame! Example? Far too numerous on this blog, even.



We talk about how we have to stop the ad hominem attacks, and then there are postings on the wives (well, I have posted anything about that killer, Laura Bush, but I'm a'itchin' to!). We talk about how we should talk about the issues, but then fail (I think I posted a couple of things). We talk about how we should be able to back up claims (and not use opinion pieces), and then fail.

So, gentle readers of this blog (right now, that means you, Kristel, I personally apologize for being unable to keep this blog on topic. The fact of the matter is that this election has us all frothing at the mouth. As soon as it's all over, we'll only occasionally have political screeds, and, dream a little dream, dialog.
Remember when this blog used to be a discussion of how God really did kill a kitten everytime someone masturbated? Dudes, where is the love?

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Memo


To: John Kerry, wherever and whoever you are . . . please don't read these articles.

From: Your friends at the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy - now in it's twelfth year of infiltrating American Politics!

The only question I've got after the third trip to Nantucket this year and the "M-16 is my favorite gun" debacle, is: Is John Kerry the worst candidate since Dukakis or since McGovern?
"Liberals believe in the same things that everybody else believes in - they just act like they thought of it first." Dr. Tim Allen, UW Botany Dept."


Bzzzzzt . . . Click.


Total disconnect, dude. Once again proof that ABB is a stronger ticket then Kerry Edwards.

I won't debate whether Bush lied, it's no use - I'd just as soon argue with my tree to stop shedding leaves on my front yard.

But what is telling is that I haven't heard one defense of the attacks on Mr. Kerry and his amazing boy sidekick! Could this be because in the Left's heart of hearts, they know that he would have also invaded Iraq based upon the information the CIA provided?

Is it because they know that the French would have abandoned us in Iraq under Kerry, just as they did in Yugoslavia under Clinton?

Is it because they know that the terrorist attacks against Americans occur regardless of who is in office?

Is it because they know what the Right (and the Boston newspapers) have known for years - that the man is an unprincipled gold-digger only interested in the next election?

Terrence is waiting for a defense from the adherents to the Religion of PeaceTM. I am waiting for a cogent defense of Kerry that doesn't rely upon attacks on the present administration.

Terrence and I will be waiting a long, long time.
Dude, some chick in Holland is hot for you! Dig the comments!

I didn't want to have check in


...but it appears that I must.

And so I will join the chorus of people calling for the resignation of the person responsible for feeding the American people a lie using falsified documents. This contreversy can only end when a new team comes in to clean out the deceit and mistrust generated.

Wait, you're talking about Dan Rather? Oh, wow. Yeah, 'cause people died as a result of his faulty reporting.

This is such a non-story, but it deflects people from evaluating the President's discussion of how the Iraqi people now enjoy the beautiful freedom to behead American contractors.

No one in the world believes George W. Bush except for a small segment of the American public (the rest that's going red doesn't either like or trust Kerry or watches Fox with the most uncrtical eye....). Dan Rather isn't the story, but, bear in mind that the Administration reviewed the documents and released them without comment, meaning that they agreed with the content.
Throw the bum out. Again, I'm not talking about Dan Rather.

Peace Train?


Scotsman.com News - Latest News - Cat Stevens Deportation 'A Slap in the Face' “It seems that the US officials would rather that the untrue and distorted images of Islam and Muslims persist in the minds of its own citizens.”

Ok fair enough. Perhaps Anas Altikriti can help me with the following statement which were some of the last words heard by Eugene Armstrong: "'Now, you have people who love death just like you love life. Killing for the sake of God is their best wish, getting to your soldiers and allies are their happiest moments, and cutting the heads of the criminal infidels is implementing the orders of our lord."

How come these Arab groups only speak up when they are the target of mistreatment. Did I miss the Arab world expressing outrage at the death of Eugene Armstrong?
Also I'm pretty sure that the name Altikriti makes Anas an Iraqi from Tikrit. at least that's what I got from reading Con Coughlin's Saddam: King of Terror

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Kerry and I Have Something in Common!


We both have billionaire wives who lavishly spend their inheritance on us!

No, actually, we both own Chinese Assault Rifles.

From the September 17th Outdoor Life Magazine:
OL: Are you a gun owner? If so, what is your favorite gun?

Bush: Yes. My favorite gun is a Weatherby, Athena 20-gauge (over/under).

Kerry: My favorite gun is the M-16 that saved my life and that of my crew in Vietnam. I don’t own one of those now, but one of my reminders of my service is a Communist Chinese assault rifle.

To paraphrase Glenn Reynolds, is there any question that this guy will answer without mentioning Vietnam?

I wonder what else we can expect in the future . . .
Good Housekeeping: Do you clean house? What's your favorite vacuum cleaner?

Bush: I guess we've got a Hoover . . . the red one with the fabric bag?

Kerry: I prefer the Colt Model 1911 in .45ACP. I used it to save the lives of my men in Vietnam and it does a great job on the windows. I also have a Sherman Tank.

Or, from Popular Mechanics:
PM: Every guy wants to know - Snap-On or Craftsman?

Bush: My toolbox is really a mix - I've got some Husky in there, some Snap Ons - I've got a 3/8" Craftsmen ratchet driver that's really nice.

Kerry: I like to use a rusty nail and a bent pin to remove the safeties from the Claymores we strung around the Aspen house. When I'm working on my JU-87 Stuka Dive Bomber, I like to listen to the soundtrack from Apocalypse Now Da da da DA DA! Da da da DA DA! Da da da DA DA! Da da da daaa!!!!.

I always try to do things in threes . . .
Seventeen: What's the best advice you gave to your teenage daughters?

Bush: Keep their faith in Christ, make good choices and understand that you'll have to live with them for a long time.

Kerry: Stay the hell out of my foot locker! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, there are things in there that can freaking hurt you! We're not talking about the pointy things on the backsides of medals, I'm talking about grenades filled with phosgene gas - and worse! And don't even look at that home-made pistol I took off a dead gook - that damn thing has been waiting years to go off! You get your face messed up with that acid-spitting viper I keep in there and even Mama San at the Lucky Sin Loi whorehouse back in Saigon won't even have you. Keep out, goddammit!

I miss Bill Clinton. I honestly miss the scoundrel. I can hardly wait to see him on the campaign trail in 2008.

!


Boston.com / News / World / Tape shows beheading of US engineer: "'Now, you have people who love death just like you love life. Killing for the sake of God is their best wish, getting to your soldiers and allies are their happiest moments, and cutting the heads of the criminal infidels is implementing the orders of our lord."
Repeat after me kids - Islam is a religon of Peace

Does anyone have a full transcript of the speech?
!!

CBS


USATODAY.com - CBS arranged for meeting with Lockhart: "CBS arranged for a confidential source to talk with Joe Lockhart, a top aide to John Kerry, after the source provided the network with the now-disputed documents"
To me this is worse than the whole fake document thing. Nothing else really needs to be said about this.
Mozilla Superkoala

Monday, September 20, 2004

Michael Moore Strings Words Together


Dear Friends,

That's a pretty broad statement right off the top.
Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"

Ummmm, Mike? I'm a lifelong fan of politics, and I gotta tell you that since 1980, your gang has been running on defeatism. The only time you didn't, you elected the very electable Southern Governor. Take the frigging hint.

Yeah, we're laughing. It's like a circus train wreck. You can't turn your eyes away and you can't help but laughing at the silly clowns with their funny compound fractures.
Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.

Yup. We evolved to perfect machines in the Jurassic Period and just haven't seen fit to improve ourselves. We're job stealing, baby killing, grandma starving eating machines!
They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.

I was wreaking havoc with Trevor at the club the other day. We got in a few rubbers of bridge and then paved Alaska. Dreadful about those wogs in the Near East, wot?
Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"

Do I have to repeat myself, Mike? This is what your party runs on - Republicans steal jobs, kill babies and starve little old ladies. If you don't vote Dem, you're hurting yourself! Cf.: What's the Matter With Kansas? The class warfare thing died when we lovingly, willfully and knowingly sent a retired matinee star to the White House not once but twice - and each time in a landslide! My biggest fear is that you all will figure this out.
No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. people like Kerry run.

So Bill Clinton was a lousy candidate? Shit, even I admired the guy as a candidate.

Mike, guys like Bruce were born to run. And who could blame him? This town rips the bones from your back - it's a death trap. A suicide rap. You've got to get out while you're still young, because tramps like us - baby, we were born to run.
Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year.

Phony? I say we put Bill Burkett and John O'Neill in the same room together. Remember - one of them served bravely on a Swift Boat and the other was a wimp in the Texas Air National Guard. We'll see who comes out on top.

Are there problems with the Union workmanship of those Pontiacs, Mike?

I could do this all night, but unfortunately I have to get back to work. Mike's post goes on for quite some length, and it is so easily fisked that I'm thinking of putting the critter on it.
My God, Bush is within five points of Dukakis' old Lt. Gov. in New York. New Freaking York, Man!

Sunday, September 19, 2004

AWOL for 3 Weeks!


Actually, it's me, this time. I'll be in NYC, unable to defend truth, justice, and the left side of the political spectrum while I'm gone. Well, maybe I will, but who the heck knows.

In the mean time, just remember that Democrats have controlled the Senate, House, and White House at points in history and no one ever took away your guns.

Just like how the Republicans control the Senate, House, White House, and Supreme Court, but abortion hasn't been overturned. What are you guys waiting for?

Everyone out there take care: Uzis are back on the streets. (And I'm going to New York? Escaping from New York is the topic of a number of movies -- what am I? Some kind of maroon?)
See? At least when I go AWOL, people know where they can find me!