Saturday, November 13, 2004

Speaking of Satan

Surely you've heard of The Great Satan *yeah, I got the link right, dammit). Surely you've heard of their forthcoming web search function.

Have you heard of what happened when you searched for "more evil than satan" in MSN's beta search engine? Down now, but here's an image. Apparently Google had similar results some time ago.

Hmmm... who to google-bomb.....
Terry, if you're *really* a Libertarian, sure you will make a donation to Badnarik for his recount in Ohio. Remember, there's no limit on donations for recounts.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Don't know where you get your numbers

I'm sure, though, that when you look at your numbers, you remember that Kerry received more votes for any Presidential candidate ever other than George W. Bush (depending on the impending outcome), meaning that Kerry got more votes than Reagan did either time.

I'm sure you'll recall that Bush's real margin of victory, 286-252 (if it stands), is the slimest ever.

I'm sure that if you think about it, Bush's "victory" in Ohio is less than the outstanding number of as yet uncounted ballots.

Mandate, my ass.

If the election ultimately goes to Kerry, I pledge to say absolutely nothing on the blog. What's more, as I did this time, I'll keep my mouth shut (fingers off keyboard?) unless there are two unanswered posts.

I'd much rather be posting about the recent event where a person on a Segway ran over a Roomba. Now *that's* news!
How's yer throat?

60,000,000 and counting

Just galling, aint it?

Okay everyone, sing along with me:

"I'm still stuck in the nineties . . . "

I couldn't find all the lyrics to the old Gallagher song, so you get a picture of the clown and a hint at what the parody could be.

<Oldtimeradiovoice>Join us for those thrilling days of yesteryear! When ladies asscracks became liberated and any moron with a keyboard could convince Wallstreet to throw billions at his ludicrous ideas for selling petfood over the inter-net! This week, we remember the Clinton tax cuts, sponsored by Sud-so-matic cleaning fluid, for those really tough evidentiary stains!!</Oldtimeradiovoice>

Dude, you really have to get with the new program, or I might start gloating. And I promised not to, remember?
There's a better word for blood stains, it's just not coming to mind.

Satan Saves

Yahoo! News - Mall Rapist Offers Soul To Satan For Forgiveness: "'I am sorry. I would give anything to take it back. I would sell my soul to Satan to take it back.'"

A rather interesting way to go about looking for forgiveness

Still ignoring those two boobs on the left and left of me.

Yes I said left and left of me

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Veteran's Day

My humblest thanks to Brian, my Dad, my sister Jennifer, my brother Carl, Brian's dad Frank, my Dad's dad Earl, and my Mom's dad Leslie.
Woe to anyone who complains to the FCC about "Private Ryan".

Satisfying His Own Sense of Greed or Pleasure

Bush has consistently given hand-outs to the rich and powerful, turned the instruments of government against the weak and oppressed, and mocked anyone who did not share his beliefs.

Consider this: when interviewed about allowing the execution of a woman while he was govenor of Texas, a woman who was his sister in Christ, George W. Bush mocked her. He mocked her fear of death. He mocked everyone on death row, despite the spate of people released from death row on the strength of genetic evidence. He's a petty, small man, and I really do believe he derives pleasure from the death and torture of people. Hence his appointment to AG.

I don't care what it takes to get him out. He's not making the country safer, like Clinton did. Even though Clinton was busy protecting America (terrorists had to wait until we had an idiot at the wheel before they could successfully attack), Republicans decided to take any potshot they could at our President for purely political reasons.
Stop publishing about how the Dems "lost" this one, stop taking cracks at Dems in general, and I'll stop. You were up by two before I responded, so you won't lose anything by stopping now. We can go back to links of evil sweaters.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Well, That didn't take long

Impeach, Indict, Imprison?

You'll get your Iran/Contra - don't worry. The pattern is too well fixed over the last forty years. All second term presidents have to deal with some kind of massive investigation by Congress into wrongdoing.

By Congress. 60 Minutes II, Michael Moore and do not count.

Here is my prediction: The scandal will involve some effort to strengthen America's position in some crisis - more Iran/Contra then Monica Lewinsky. This guy will get in trouble not by satisfying his own sense of greed or pleasure, but rather by making some enormous tactical blunder in one of our country's adventures.

I also predict that with 55 Republicans in the Senate, it will not rise to the level of impeachable offenses.
Going back to my ice cream and antibiotics. Who knew that strep throat could be so fun. I hope somebody is covering for me at work.

Risque Children's Programming

Sounds like it's from the UK, Rainbow was a children's TV show in the 70s and 80s.

This episode, though, was all about plucking twangers, blowing pipe, and playing with balls.

See, if we had some video on the 19 year olds getting spanked, that would really be something...

It's good to be the King - News - Business Owner Arrested After Allegedly Spanking Two Employees: "RED BANK, Tenn. -- The owner of a shaved ice business was arrested after two employees claimed he spanked them for making mistakes at work. Paul Eugene Levengood, 57, was charged with two counts of sexual battery after the 19-year-old women complained."

You've been a very naughty, naughty minimum wage employee

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Impeach, Indict, Imprison

You know, for a political party that hates lawyers and demonizes the other side as just being full of lawsuit-happy liberals, I'm actually getting a little surprised at how much you guys are taunting us.

You went after our guy in the 90s. You got nothing. When you go after Bill, you had better be carrying kryptonite, not some half-assed lawsuit that ultimately gets thrown out for being meritless.

The last time we went after your guys was Iran-Contra. We got nothing, if you don't count the number of people who actually did end up convicted. Where are they now? Mostly serving at the pleasure of the President.

And as to how secure this "election" has been, consider that the guy who's just stepped down from the ironically named Department of Justice doesn't trust the security of government computer systems and had to rely on handwritten notes.

So, what's my plan for dealing with criminal thugs? Impeach, Indict, and Imprison.
We can go back to evil sweater links any time you want.

Buncha linx

Bad Sweaters
Stick Figure Warning Signs (I've thought about collecting those before, but was mostly interested in overseas ones, like the one of a guy apparently getting amputated by the Madrid train system in 1999).
Finally a use for spam (well, spam email, at least; still no use for the canned meat product)
FireFox 1.0 is officially available
It's taking me some effort to not blog on the election. I'm still reading numerous articles every day about how fubar the election has been.

Democrats Can Keep On Losing

I'm not going to offer any more advice to the loyal opposition. For a variety of reasons:

1. They won't listen anyways.

b) This has been the most blogged subject since, well, the election.

iii. I'm sick and tired of it. Let them die on the vine. Maybe rational Libertarians will crop up to replace them.

I'd like to also say a few things about Tara Reid's breast. It is simply amazing that a person can be so coked up so's that they miss the November chill on their (allegedly) sensitive breast also, she went home from P. Diddy's party alone after that? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

Finally, I have proof that we've come to the end of the internet. Ladies and Gentlemen (drum roll please . . . ):

The National Public Toilet Map

I'm so relieved to find that there are no less than eight public toilets in Sunbury, Victoria where Max made The Kid choose between hacking off his own ankle or trying to cut through the handcuffs.

Hasn't it been your experience that if you have access to the internet, you also have (reasonable) access to a bathroom?
Nothing left to say. Maybe next week we start blogging in Elvin

Monday, November 08, 2004

I've made it!!!

From this morning's email:
"Dear Henry, I'm pleased to introduce you to the 'new' Trailer Life magazine, redesigned to enhance your reading and RVing experience."

Every Red-Neck's Dream