Saturday, August 13, 2005

Notes On Disney


Good gravy this is old. That is the only reason I now release it, unedited and full of all the joy and bile in equal parts.

To All Foreign Guests: I do not know you personally. Please refrain from coming into physical contact with me. Such as mangaging to bump into my back every time the line moves. If you are a parent, now is an excellent time to teach your children to not bump into Americans. And to the French speakers who pushed in front of me on the ferry and then got loud and kept pushing me back, I hope you die horribly. And to all of your female relatives I undressed with my eyes, I regret nothing.

To All Disney Guests: Follow the freakin' rules. If smoking is so important to you, stay home and smoke it up. And then, if you aren't going to listen to the employee who tells you to move to the right, don't give me a dirty look as I zoom past you with a sleeping kid because I can listen for and follow instructions.

To Me: Don't get upset with Dante when you've kept him out all night to maximize the use of the Disney tickets. You're an idiot. Congrats on not overspending, though.

To Dante: Please remember how much fun you had. Please forget about that time I got upset with you in the Norway exhibit. Just keep in mind that no matter how upset I was with you, it's nothing like I feel about those French-speakers on the ferry.
It's a small world after all.

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