Saturday, April 16, 2005

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!


This is the funniest thing I have ever seen:

What? You mean they're serious?!?! WTF? Wake up, sheeple: religious people of every stripe end up on benches and that's never been a problem. The problem comes from being an idiot and using bits and pieces of the Bible to rule on a case. Judges are supposed to use the law and their good judgment, not the Bible. Otherwise, more people would be doing time for having eaten pork.
Morons abound.

And we all know what that leads to...


Riverdance.




And that's partly queer with a chance of fag.
Yes, I like Dave Attell's stand up routine, even if he does look like Andre Agassi with a drinking problem.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Let's try this . . .


We're going to set WinAmp to play my music collection today. There are 2,204 tracks in my collection and in the last few minutes we've heard from Sheryl Crow, Veggie Tales, Don Henley and Meat Loaf.


Today's set come from Bikini Beach World in Byron Bay, New South Wales.

The late Andrea Dworkin would say that all this tit posting would eventually lead to violence against women. She was ugly, too.

Not that these people deserve more web traffic...


...but this is incredibly hard to believe.



Wholesomewear.com produces swimwear from another era (or mentality).

Concerned that only Jewish and Islamic fundamentalists seem to find ways to keep their women covered up? Fear no more! Everything that "God" created can be hidden from view!

Available in three styles.

Actually, these swimsuits will be quite useful for me. As soon as I see a family in them, I will report them to the FBI, since they are clearly domestic terrorists.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Not quite tits


Hey, Fox "News" has nothing but boobs, yet they make no corrections!
Zing!

Corrections!


When was the last time that New York Times was happy to post a correction?

The decision to name three slime-mold beetles after Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, however, didn't have anything to do with physical features, says Quentin Wheeler, a professor of entomology and of plant biology at Cornell for 24 years until last October, but to pay homage to the U.S. leaders. "We admire these leaders as fellow citizens who have the courage of their convictions and are willing to do the very difficult and unpopular work of living up to principles of freedom and democracy rather than accepting the expedient or popular," says Wheeler, who named the beetles and wrote the recently published monograph describing the new slime-mold beetle species while a professor at Cornell. [More . . . ]

I wonder if he would have added that to his monograph if he was still relying on Cornell for his paycheck?


I'll bet if the NYT put tits in with their corrections that they'd be happier to correct their voluminous errors.

Nice Tits



I guess she's someone famous. Whatever, with boys like those she'll go far

We are talking about wild animals not Morris the Cat.



This turned into a rant - But let me be clear. I am an Animal Lover especially cats.

This whole feral Cat thing is best summed up by a coworker who has a barn full of Feral Cats she never invited. ”Anyone who doesn’t think they shouldn’t be shot should be locked up in my barn with them for a day”.

Per state law she can’t kill them. She’d have to trap them and take them to the Humane Society. Where the Humane Society would take one look at the cats and euthanize them because they are feral cats. We have rabid cats in our county. So the chances of me trying to trap one of these suckers is Zero.

Another factor is how we get stray cats in the country. The answer is people from the city drive by and drop ‘em off. I’ve heard numerous first hand accounts about it and I’ve seen litters of kittens in the ass end of nowhere sitting on the side of the road. Trust me they didn’t take the bus they were dropped off. Those kittens that survive to full maturity are no longer pets. They are wild animals with razor sharp claws.

If there were wild Dogs roaming the streets we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Rural Cats have become so ubiquitous you don’t even consider finding their owner. Now a dog roaming the streets gets picked up and the owner is located. If the dog continues to roam free sooner or later the county steps in and sees to it that the dog is either kept on a leash or the dog is taken to the Humane Society. Why do we do this? Because feral dogs are dangerous, they hunt in packs, they could kill you.

Tit Fortnight posting is in the works

Modern Journalism at it's Finest


As equally childish as the previously mentioned "art"work:
Slime-mold Beetles Named for Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld

Three new beetles of the genus Agathidium have been named after members of the current administration: A. bushi, A. cheneyi and A. rumsfeldi.

Two former Cornell University entomologists, Quentin Wheeler and Kelly Miller, were in charge of naming 65 new species of slime-mold beetles, which they discovered while studying the insects' evolution and classification.

Curiously, this paragraph is found buried 3/4 of the way down through the the article:
Some of the other recently identified specimens were named after the entomologists' wives and their scientific illustrator, as well as Pocahontas, Hernan Cortez, and the Aztecs.

Slime-mold Beetles Named for Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Mrs. Wheeler and Mrs. Miller must not be as sexy a headline.

The aforementioned "art" sucks because it's only message seems to be "I'm an overgrown adolescent with authority figure issues! Buy my work so I don't have to use my talents for 'the man'." Bush as Hitler? That didn't strike any chords during the election, why is anyone going to give a fuck now?


God, I *love* running my own office


"As my opinion of the law is invalidated by my lack of a legal education, so my opinion of art is invalidated by my limited art education." You've really got to get over this. And then get a frickin' degree in something other then bitching about the Executive Branch.

Fear not, Terry


Good luck on the Great Feral Cat Hunt. Now you need not worry about rabies any more.

Stray dogs should be next on the hunting list, right?

This is but one way in which Wisconsin can catch up with Minnesota and South Dakota.

My questions is: what do you do with the meat?

I might not know art...










The one of Mother Theresa done up like a demon disturbs me a little, but then again, I'm not an artist. As my opinion of the law is invalidated by my lack of a legal education, so my opinion of art is invalidated by my limited art education.

Welcome to New York, Mr. Scalia



In asking about Scalia's dissent in Lawrence v. Texas and his view that privacy is not constitutionally protected, Eric Berndt, a law student, shocked the crowd by asking, "Do you sodomize your wife?"
[Source]


Seems like a fair question to me. I don't have a fancy law degree, but my understanding of Scalia's dissent[1] was that allowing consenting adults to commit unnatural acts in the privacy of their own homes would lead to widespread aberrant sexual behavior (and by aberrant, I mean "gay"). And since that allowed the government to intrude into the bedrooms of citizens, I think he should throw open wide the French doors to his boudoir.

But, all seriousness aside, Scalia proved to have an excellent sense of humor, as noted in the article:

"The constitution is not a living organism," Scalia said, espousing his belief that the Constitution's interpretation should not change over time. "It's a legal document."
Ibid


Man, what a kidder! If you'll excuse me, I have to find where in the Constitution it says that the Supreme Court decides elections.

[1]
State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are likewise sustainable only in light of Bowers' validation of laws based on moral choices. Every single one of these laws is called into question by today's decision; the Court makes no effort to cabin the scope of its decision to exclude them from its holding. See ante, at 11 (noting "an emerging awareness that liberty gives substantial protection to adult persons in deciding how to conduct their private lives in matters pertaining to sex" (emphasis added)). The impossibility of distinguishing homosexuality from other traditional "morals" offenses is precisely why Bowers rejected the rational-basis challenge. "The law," it said, "is constantly based on notions of morality, and if all laws representing essentially moral choices are to be invalidated under the Due Process Clause, the courts will be very busy indeed." 478 U. S., at 196.2 Source


Admit it: you've always wanted to know if Antonin and the Mrs. get freaky.

No tits for me, thanks.


Working on a borrowed laptop in the mornings. Although I plan on clearing up my tracks when I return it, I'll just avoid the whole soft-core porn thing on this laptop.

In somewhat related news, why didn't anyone tell me about Asia Carrera's baby? What will this do to her career? Does this mean that her new material will be severely limited?
Cue the "Welcome Back Kotter" theme music.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Napoleon Dynamite


So it wasn't us? Napoleon Dynamite frickin' sucked for everyone who gets all the jokes in Bowling For Soup's lyrics?

True: I rented it b/c I heard it was this total cult classic and the video store didn't have Eating Raoul on DVD (Trig's does) or Underworld. Got it home, explained to my bride that it was this award winning cult thing that has gotten rave reviews.

Half an hour into it (Exactly!) I stood up, walked to the DVD player, pulled it out and put in Young Frankenstein. Never said a word to Michelle.

Way, way, way, bad movie. When you see "MTV Films Presents", just run for the nearest Mel Brooks film. Even Dead and Loving It.



The 21st Century largely sucks so far.

It's never too early


Let's start tit week today, hell lets make it a Tit fortnight

While not technically pink fleshy tits, when I saw this image my first thought was Hmmm nice tits.
Dodo Heads, Ditto Heads, now I get it. I've been staying away from Hate radio lately and have been listening to Opie and Anthony on XM.

OH Yeeaaahhh!



Welcome back from the self imposed sabbatical!
I think that starting next week, all posts should include tits. This will deeply effect the posting abilities for those still working for the man, but will not effect the posting abilities of those working against the man.

Dodo Heads?




I'll try to savour the moment when the current wave of Republican leaders are shown to be the lying, theiving, heartless, cruel, coniving, manipulative, traitorous, treasonous bastards they are.

It's be a long time coming.
I, for one, am looking forward to another 20 years of Democratic administration.

Moron


I love watching Fox in the morning so I can better identify idiots I encounter in life. For example, if someone told me that there was a new book laying out a plan to fight terrorism, I might be interested. That is, until, I find out that the book they're talking about is "They Just Don't Get It", which appears to have been written by a 13 year old boy who thinks Napolean Dynamite is "frickin' sweet".


"Hang onto your ball caps and hairpieces, this is going to be monkey-butt ugly." Indeed. Delivering an account of the U.S.'s failures in combatting terror, Hunt, a Fox TV News military analyst and retired army colonel, depicts a world of gutless politicians, bungling bureaucrats, deceitful allies and bleeding-heart liberals. His solution is to expand the armed forces and vastly contract bureaucracy, especially the many intelligence agencies, which he proposes be combined into one central bureau with a single, long-term director who is exempt from testifying before congressional committees. Hunt hates congressional committees and admires elite military teams like the SEALs and Delta Force; he wants them turned loose. Merged into the "TKA" (Terrorist Killing Agency), they would receive intelligence from the now competent intelligence bureau, proceed to wherever terrorists operate and (with or without the host country's permission) kill them. The author considers Israel an ideal model; its forces, he says, respond viciously to every attack. Legal niceties and public relations take a back seat. Assassination teams travel the world to murder Israel's enemies. (Thoughtful readers may wonder why, after decades of slugging it out, Israel remains wracked with terrorism.) No group escapes the author's venom—or his praise. (On sale Apr. 12)


How irresponsible. The next time we take our case to the world to ask them for anything, they can use this book as another example of American jingoism and cowboy attitude.

Why should it be so difficult to distinguish between screeds written by retired military officers and kids before they go on shooting sprees at school?

Monday, April 11, 2005

Sure, he's Fabulously Wealthy and World Famous


But has all that money really bought him happiness?


Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner (R) holds a birthday cake as he celebrates his 79th birthday along with his current girlfriends, Playboy Playmates (L-R) Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt, and Holly Madison during a party honoring Hefner at the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills

Yes. Yes it has.
In the immortal words of Lewis Grizzard: "My friends say she only likes me for my money. I say, isn't that what it's for?"

Shark Watch


South Park Conservatives : The Revolt Against Liberal Media Bias
"For the better part of 30 years, liberal bias has dominated mainstream media. But author and political journalist Brian Anderson reveals in his new book that the era of liberal dominance is going the way of the dodo bird."

I have this nagging feeling that a shark was just jumped somewhere. Look for swinging pendulums, next.
When we're finding meaning to support our politics in potty-mouthed Colorforms, we've gone too far.