Friday, May 13, 2005

Blog Roundup


Heh. Indeed. This is incredibly funny - and it prevents me from having to link to her 'blog': www.huffingtonstoast.com

Speaking of blogs filled with people that you just have to feel sorry for: americansforbayh.blogspot.com - this one is worth it only because in off-election years it makes you realize that many people are 'politically active' simply because they have no life of their own.

Finally, these people may not have the traditional definition of a life, but at least they're having fun - bologh.blogspot.com/

What's Important:
You can now create a graph of what's important in the blogosphere. I chose two 'hot' topics - Arianna Huffington and Filibuster, and tossed in my favorite, fucking.

Fucking. It's a good thing.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Fictionology


Duh. Everybody not named Barbra knows that.
Does one feel rested after having dreams about their political enemies? I'm rested after dreaming about fucking.

You Don't Own $%*^


Tell me, Mr. "I'm Just Concerned For The Future Of The American Judiciary", without Googling an answer, are Federal Sentencing Guidelines a Republican or a Democratic Issue when it comes to selecting Judges?

I failed to see your acknowledgement of my correct answer in your reply. I appreciate the history lesson, but the failure to note that I correctly jumped through your hoop is rather troubling.

Tell me, Mr. History degree, what religion caused the English Civil Wars and how that could possibly apply to today, again without Googling.

And then, with Googling, tell me which modern political party is most closely affiliated with bestiality.

I don't often dream about fucking, and when I do, it generally causes me nothing but trouble. Then again, maybe the world could be divided into Those Who Do and Those Who Dream.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Yes, as a Matter of Fact, I Do Own You.


As keeper of freaky voodoo shit, I own you. And L. Ron Hubbard, too. *And*, I have to ask for help on how to use apostrophes. Really. And I'm easily one of the smartest people I know.

The funny thing about Sentencing Guidelines is that they infuriate everybody. Originally conceived as a "Law And Order" effort of the 1970s to get tough on crime, they were then adopted by the Equal Protection crowd of the Left to ensure that everybody who fit in their little class and race warfare pigeonholes were shit upon equally by the government.

Since then, they've been the subject of endless litigation - A quick peek in Lexis tells me that they've been litigated on some thirty six times in the last five years in Wiscconsin alone. That's a lot.

But because they don't neatly fit into anybodies (there it is again - did I do it right?) definition of jurisprudence, they've been simultaneously disowned and embraced by all the sides of the argument - much like the 2004 Boston Red Sox.

I'd love to see a judge tell the Senate "Screw you - If I think the drug dealer should be placed on probation, that's my call. Go back and re-read Art. I, Sec. 8, you overpaid rubber-stampers."

Chances are that would probably torpedo his nomination.

Are candidates properly vetted by either side? Frankly, they shouldn't be 'vetted' at all. The process has become so ungainly that we ought to look at doing it differently - perhaps we should just hire the bastards like we do Federal Prosecutors and Federal Defenders. Let them be impeachable, but let's look at doing something to get people on the bench while they're still young enough to hear oral arguments unassisted.

Until that time comes, they should be voted on - not used as pawns in some freakish sideshow of "The Culture Wars". (Admittedly, I haven't paid that much attention, but we do actually have the ugly spectre of the Black Caucus trying to hold up the appointment of a Black judge to the Federal bench?? Puh-leeaze.)

Frankly, this song captures how most attorney's feel about Federal Judges anyways.
You *dream* about your political enemies??? I don't ever recall losing a moments R.E.M. over Bill, and when Hillary is president, I doubt I will then. Why don't you dream about fucking, like the rest of us?

A Break from Politics


To praise the Increasingly Relevant Onion for taking a few cheap shots at Scientology - Scientology Losing Ground to New Fictionology

Coupled with last weeks digs at the Amazing New Hyperbole Chamber, it's good to see them going back to their roots and getting out of the rut they'd been in for the last few months.

You can never take too many cheap shots at Scientologists.
L. Ron Hubbard? Yeah, I fucked him, too.

Graphic Content


Warning!!! explicit Anna Nicole story : "she kept taking it out of my mouth. Marilyn started humping Puppy's face"
My last post sucked.

Georgia on My Mind


Yesterday morning, the last dream I had right before I woke up was that someone had something bad happen to him.

Then I woke up this morning and learned that it had almost happened.

You do remeber what "almost" means, don't you, Brian?

Still Plenty of Time


I only camped out one night before "Phantom Mneace". I might pop by and pick up some tickets this week, but there are still two midnight showings that aren't sold out. I appreciate your concern, though. It's touching.

Poor Bai Ling.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Shouldn't You Be In A Line Somewhere?


Seriously, shouldn't you be waiting in a line?

Let there be no doubt


I am left of Brian and Terry, but right of Babs Streisand. Further proof:
Liberals, after all, founded our nation. They were skeptical of the power of any institution - be it corporate (the Boston Tea Party was an anti-globalization protest against the world's largest transnational corporation, the East India Company), religious (Ben Franklin left Massachusetts for Philadelphia during his childhood in part because they were still hanging witches in the outlying regions), or governmental (the "kingly oppressions" such as the power of a king to make war, referred to by Madison and later quoted by Lincoln). [Source: email from Buzzflash]


I don't think I would say that liberals founded our nation and try to make it sound like only liberals were involved in craftng our national experiment. Many stripes of conservatism ran through them, even Franklin and Madison. I'm not entirely sure about what party Lincoln belonged to. Any helpful bloggers out there care to help me out?

Boy, I hope the sarcasm came though on my earlier post, just as I hope it comes through here.

We need to divorce the concepts of liberalism and conservatism from political parties. We need to divorce social, fiscal, legal, and governmental liberalism or conservativism. Dems are trying to make it known to more and more people that you can vote for a Dem and not go to Hell.

And I don't care what Ratzinger has to say on that one.

Log Cabin Republicans are ticked off that a minority with an agenda hijacked their party. To be honest, I am too. I'd rather have an open discussion about the role of government with my mom without having to refer to the Bible. ("Mom, 'Render unto Caesar' is Jesus' way of advocating a complete separation of church and state.").

So if Republicans don't stand for smaller, less-intrusive government and strong states' rights, what do they stand for? Monopolization of power?

Very tempted to post photo comparisons of Ratzinger and Palpatine.

Star Wars!


I can't believe the sith have the same motto as cobra kai from karate kid. "show no mercy" maybe we'll see the emporer tell darth vader " sweep the leg, you got a problem with that?" [Source]


Nervous trepidation. The reviews are pouring in, claiming that it's the best of the prequels (super difficult feat there, eh?), including the one I was most concerned about, the one for parents.

It's too violent and disturbing. I won't take Dante to it.

I feel bad because I kind of got him psyched up, but the whole thing about Anakin Flambe, if nothing else, sounds like it would really scare the little guy. I remember how, after I saw "The Empire Strikes Back", I was terrified that my dad was was going to chop my hand off if I ever told him that I wasn't going to join him. Still am, in fact.

I need to figure out what to do now. Lie to him (ala Kenobi)? Manipulate him not wanting to go (ala Palpatine)? Tell him no (ala Uncle Owen)? Trick him by showing him something else like the Clone Wars cartoon and tell him it was actually the movie, only coming clean much later (like Yoda on Dagobah revealing himself to Luke)? If only I had some guide to father-son relationships.

For years, I've been playing edited versions of the movies, where I distract him during any dismemberments/beheadings. What do I do now?

How long before "Obi Wan Shot First" tshirts come out?

No Googling?


Screw you, man. You're not the boss of me. You can't tell me what to do.

Before I answer your baiting question, in the manner you prescribed (i.e., no Googling), I'd like to point out that you spent a lot of money on an education that is wasted if you can't even distinguish between "effect" and "affect". Go ahead and bring on the legal smarminess; I at least know how to use the English language properly, you punk.

That said, what I recall of the issue is that Federal Sentencing Guidelines are a Republican issue. Republicans, like former attorney general and pop superstar John Ashcroft, are really uptight about making judges sentence convicted people to the maximum extent of the law, and then some. I believe this is partly because Republicans tend to own more jail construction companies.

You could also look at it as a Democratic issue, in that even during the 2004 Democratic primaries, John Edwards platform (yeah, I read it) included a part about equalizing drug conviction terms for crack and coccaine. I believe also that Democrats believe that the judiciary should be allowed to, how should I say, make judgment calls on their own.

There are many decisions that Dem- or Liberal-appointed judges make that tick off those on the left. We don't, however, call for their removal or sport-hunting simply because we disagree with them, though. Well, maybe Scalia. Still, not annointed by my guys.

Are you suggesting that Republicans don't properly vette their boys?
I don't get the joke about Joni, Terry. Or how China plays into a story about Thailand. However, I do think that anyone who keeps a detailed diary of their exploits with underaged lovers deserves to go to jail for being stupid.

Don't be an Ass Hole this is still China


My Way News: "'Although the maximum penalty is 10 years in jail for each count, he has repeated his crime with hundreds of victims and these crimes would add up,' Lt. Colonel Dhamnoon Munkong said."
Joni tried to warn them

Monday, May 09, 2005

Uncle Fester


From the "It's a Free Country Dept.":
Since 1985, everybody's favorite Uncle has been writing the books which have defined the field of clandestine chemistry. My books have been described as the pinnacle of 20th century underground writing, and through them I have transformed this genre.

Oh well. It's a free country.
I'd like to see this guy's book on "Dealing With Paranoia and Meth Bugs - Covering Those Scars on Your Arms Where The Insects Tried To Crawl Out."