tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52780052011-06-08T02:10:47.835-04:00The Comfy Chair - A Jarring ChordSemi-employed Lefty Computer programmer? Check. <br>Reactionary Conservative Criminal Defense Attorney? Check.
<br>Libertarian Boat Builder hooked on Hate Radio? Check.
<br>Clue?
<br>Waiter, check please!M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/11507671913711980163noreply@blogger.comBlogger10431100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1144012672468515742006-04-02T13:25:00.000-04:002006-04-02T17:17:52.536-04:00DumbassesTuttle, OK: City of Dumbasses.Here's why — it's not that an idiot who didn't know what the computers do was taking care of the system, and it's not even that he jumped the gun and made slanderous (libelous?) accusations out of his own ignorance, the pomposity that he treated the whole situation or that he thinks that the people who make this nation run (and that is what the geeks and shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1139027971806677072006-02-03T23:33:00.000-05:002006-02-03T23:39:31.820-05:00All the Little Hitlers...I distinctly remember a tiff erupting. I remember me writing "fascist". I remember someone else thinking I'd written "Hitler". Strong words were said. Friendships eroded.Today, justification cometh.Even Donnie Rumsfeld can't keep from pulling out the Hitler.Who? Who could possibly compare to the madman who tried to wipe out Jew and gypsie and Catholic?Earlier this shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1137769972544953062006-01-20T09:36:00.000-05:002006-02-03T23:44:15.360-05:00What are you people still doing here?What the hell has Shawn been up to lately?Shawn's ben working like a regular mofo. Shawn's been working so hard, in fact, that he has taken to speaking in the third person. He does this because the level of work that he is performing requires him to allow his soul to drift from his body. Not really in an astral projection kind of way, but really more of a shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1127097463197569842005-09-18T22:35:00.000-04:002005-09-19T00:29:53.996-04:00This is an outrage!!!The multiply-disappointing awful series, led down the rabbit-hole of rampant mediocrity by Patricia Arquette, just saw her win an Emmy for lead actress in a drama.Honestly, I demand a recount. Of an education in taste for the academy. Whatever is necessary. Sheesh.However, the always wonderful Felicity Huffman gave one of the best acceptance speeches I've ever heard.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1125021983909283752005-08-25T21:28:00.000-04:002005-08-25T22:06:23.936-04:00The Onion gets it RightBear in mind that even Rick Santorum is backing off from the Prez.Tomorrow, I'm walking Jen through the posting process.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1124173106363959512005-08-16T01:24:00.000-04:002005-08-16T02:18:26.373-04:00WrongAt the rally Sunday, Mike Miller, 54, of Gallatin echoed many of the speakers comments on judicial power, saying he believes Supreme Court justices try to create laws with their rulings instead of interpreting the Constitution."Activist justices -- we're trying to find out what we can do to stop that activity," he said. "Our laws are based on the Ten Commandments." [Emphasis mine. Source]shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1123975983646142992005-08-13T18:43:00.000-04:002006-02-03T23:42:47.453-05:00Notes On DisneyGood gravy this is old. That is the only reason I now release it, unedited and full of all the joy and bile in equal parts.To All Foreign Guests: I do not know you personally. Please refrain from coming into physical contact with me. Such as mangaging to bump into my back every time the line moves. If you are a parent, now is an excellent time to teach your children to not shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1121453363344729812005-07-15T14:47:00.000-04:002005-07-15T14:50:23.480-04:00Just BizarreShe's holding a mirror up to the monitor. The monitor is displaying different images based on the viewing angle. Truly bizarre. Window into the future of advertising?Proving that there are two sides to every story.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1120618629059567672005-07-05T22:49:00.000-04:002005-07-05T22:57:09.063-04:00Will there be a day?Will there be a day when people no longer remember how Bill Shatner got famous in the first place?The face. He makes. After kicking the tire. And setting off the car alarm. Priceless.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1120231754107082122005-07-01T11:25:00.000-04:002005-07-01T11:29:14.113-04:00Bork on CNNWow, Robert Bork is an asshole. I'm glad he was trashed in public. He's on CNN right now talking about how Sandra Day O'Connor had no firm judicial philosophy and that's why she was a swing vote.Considering the history of the court from Bush v. Gore, it shows that the "judicial philosophy" swings around to suit whatever needs exist. As for Bork, he's had a career of disservice to shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1120229144279610812005-07-01T10:44:00.000-04:002005-07-01T10:45:44.286-04:00O'Connor?Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!Vacation? Ah, those idyllic days of summer...shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119971307848815882005-06-28T11:07:00.000-04:002005-06-28T11:08:27.853-04:00I miss vacationHenry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119956220851364952005-06-28T06:35:00.000-04:002005-06-28T06:57:00.856-04:00More SupremesI think that the rulings from the Supremes says that the Ten Commandments are OK when used in the creation of lawn ornaments, but my understanding is certainly not a professional opinion. For that, I could turn to the same source as CNN did -- former US attorneys.One was just on CNN, and I need to get his name, but the guy was a little annoying because he remarked on how God was shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119574854392055112005-06-23T20:43:00.000-04:002005-06-23T21:00:54.400-04:00From JenThe Supreme Court decided that cities can take personal property for private development. It's funny that the more conservative members were the minority in this case. I am upset at the ruling. It's one thing to take property for all to use. It's another to take it to give it to some money-grubbing developer. (I have been teaching my children the evils of development.) This propertyshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119411042582773972005-06-21T23:26:00.000-04:002005-06-21T23:30:42.586-04:00Now for Something Completely DifferentAlaska Overrules Voters, Reinstates Aerial Wolf Hunt[Source]I'm actually for this. Wolves are bad enough, but wolves that can fly? That's some scary shit!Now back to our regular program.Came across this jewel trying to look up something Dwight Yokham said on "The Daily Show".shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119274757721516952005-06-20T09:34:00.000-04:002005-06-20T09:39:17.726-04:00If OnlyIf only I'd had your skillful command of the English language at the beginning of the year when you twisted something I wrote just so you could snear at me.Hey, take comfort in the fact that at least I'm making fun of your intellect rather than trying to smear your ethics.Or you can pout for a couple of months like I did.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119271998763615462005-06-20T08:53:00.000-04:002005-06-20T08:53:18.770-04:00You're an Asshole. Get Fucked.Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119137647510211502005-06-18T19:28:00.000-04:002005-06-18T19:34:15.226-04:00Off the Top of My Father's HeadMoussiliniFrancoPeronHis degree is in public administration. Like me, he's an amateur historian, so perhaps we're not the best to ask what it means when someone is called a "fascist", but only the most pedestrian consumer of history instantly equates fascism with Berlin, 1938.I'd forgotten Peron, but not I'm humming "Don't cry for me, Waukesha" -- I think it's a shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119123762980260912005-06-18T15:14:00.000-04:002005-06-18T15:42:42.986-04:00Speak English or Die, Mother F&*(*&erI cannot stress how difficult it is for me to take anyone seriously when they mangle the language (Cf. when I thought I was telling Japanese people that I was a foreigner but instead was telling them that I was monster -- after that, they switched to English because they couldn't stop laughing at my Japanese).Than: a word used for comparisonThen: a word to shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119120230183359942005-06-18T14:22:00.000-04:002005-06-18T14:43:50.190-04:00Au Contriare, Mon petit AnarchistWe Need Congress - we have to have the damn thing. It nicely regulates the relationship between the Kennedys, the Bushes, the Tafts, the Rockefellers and all the other political elites and the electorate (me and you, bub). It just happens to be staffed with jabbering morons - always has been, always will."Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119118528142062762005-06-18T13:42:00.000-04:002005-06-18T14:15:46.126-04:00Where do we go now?Shall we just discount all of government now? You don't like the Congress, you don't like effective Democrats in the White House, and you don't like activist (i.e., non-Republican) judges. What should we do? Elect a king and rule by fiat? Allow a caste of society to lord over us?Screw that, man. If we are to descend into chaos, I'll do the class warfare thing. The Dems shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119111506118234942005-06-18T12:10:00.000-04:002005-06-18T12:18:26.123-04:00Oooooh That!You're talking about that thing a few days ago where Jimbo walked out of some session becuase it was getting out of hand or was being protested or had gotten too silly. That.Okay. I'm on board now.Got it. We post about the antics of Congressmen now. Here's more:In the Capitol basement yesterday, long-suffering House Democrats took a trip to the land of make-believe.They pretended Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119110560113585852005-06-18T12:02:00.000-04:002005-06-18T12:02:40.120-04:00How To Tell When You're in Waaaayyyy Too DeepYou post stuff like this:Ah, Wisconsin's Fifth Congressional District, I mourn for thee. I know you probably thought you were sending a lawyer to Congress, but instead, it turns out he's just an Episcopalian philatelist.So, who won the bet on how long it would take me to post on this?I can honestly say that I'm more confused by this post then I was by Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119107032980650302005-06-18T11:03:00.000-04:002005-06-18T11:05:02.210-04:00Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man!May this image haunt you all your days.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1119026160825975712005-06-17T12:24:00.000-04:002005-06-18T11:05:31.100-04:00What kind of a moron doesn't follow standard procedure when chairing a Congressional hearing?This kind:Ah, Wisconsin's Fifth Congressional District, I mourn for thee. I know you probably thought you were sending a lawyer to Congress, but instead, it turns out he's just an Episcopalian philatelist.So, who won the bet on how long it would take me to post on this?Points of Order completely ignored shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1118161804824514032005-06-07T12:24:00.000-04:002005-06-07T12:30:04.830-04:00Holy Cow!Hilarious."Sometimes I wish that George Bush had played at Ricky Martins' inauguration instead of vice-versa."andCommunists are horrible chefs: "All ingredients should be added in equal parts."[The Bee With Wheels]Funniest stuff I read all day. Well, except for a news report saying that O'Connor, Rehnquist, and Thomas formed a dissenting group thinking that pot should be legalized, butshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1118068701023031202005-06-06T10:31:00.000-04:002005-06-06T10:38:21.030-04:00Flame on!I hear about people getting prison tattoos all the time. The hell of it is that if the guards were tattooing prisoners, it would be something else entirely. That's what we have here, and that's why the argument of "well, look what they're doing to it" doesn't hold up.Actually, if you won a settlement against some guards who were tattooing inmates, you could probably horde the largest shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1118060285374159232005-06-06T08:12:00.000-04:002005-06-06T08:18:05.380-04:00Piss OnI normally like to do things in sets of three, but I have a trial this morning, so I've only time to do a small smack down:Hood also said his investigation found 15 cases of detainees mishandling their own Korans. "These included using a Koran as a pillow, ripping pages out of the Koran, attempting to flush a Koran down the toilet and urinating on the Koran," Hood's report said. It offeredBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1118039517331943942005-06-06T02:26:00.000-04:002005-06-06T02:31:57.336-04:00Piss OffHey, how did a guard's urine splash on a copy of the Koran?How did a "two-word curse word" come to be inscribed in a copy?Why did someone kick a copy?Why did a contract "interrogator" step on a copy?Before you say that you really don't give a shit about the Koran, imagine if the roles were reversed. Also tell me if you could possibly imagine "Red Dawn" redone where Americans were playingshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1118000749374560892005-06-05T15:45:00.000-04:002005-06-05T15:47:36.886-04:00Fascinating ThingsWASHINGTON (Reuters) - Despite highly publicized charges of U.S. mistreatment of prisoners at Guantanamo, the head of the Amnesty International USA said on Sunday the group doesn't "know for sure" that the military is running a "gulag."Executive Director William Schulz said Amnesty, often cited worldwide for documenting human rights abuses, also had no information about whether Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1117650427885086062005-06-01T14:09:00.000-04:002005-06-01T14:30:48.416-04:00Me TooSpent Thursday Night in Minneapolis (courtesy of Northwest Airlines).No I didn't get free tickets to anywhere in the US.Stayed here Lousy WiFi access.Had smack down with TSA flunkees at the airport I lost.Thank God they didn't look in my back pack. I had two books on Islam. These books say bad things about Islam but TSA Flunkees can barely read.Mailed my (bladeless) pocket tool to myselfHenry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1117488444338538982005-05-30T17:20:00.000-04:002005-05-30T17:27:24.343-04:00Scenes from MinneapolisWent west this weekend to Minneapolis. The first stop was at a friend's 20th Wedding anniversary party/picnic, the second was at mall of America.There is no way for a guy to look butch with Minnesota tags on his truck.When you hear that the Unitarian Pastor and her partner are going to be singing a song for the happy couple, you know that there isn't going to be a drop of Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1117335810522725082005-05-28T22:17:00.000-04:002005-05-28T23:03:30.530-04:00FinallyAn area of topical discussion where I am the king.As Lucas has said time and again (even this time), the movies are taking from timeless stories, and the story of the dictator seizing power and destroying freedom has many precusors. You can look at it as Tower of Babel or Icarus and Daedelous -- Man's greatest foe is himself.For the record, Vader had nothing to do with targeting or shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1117218585959409582005-05-27T14:06:00.000-04:002005-05-27T14:29:45.996-04:00Alderaan RevistedSeriously, I say this as a huge fan the original Episodes, but the recent politicization of the films has made me start to question my adoration of the character. He greased Alderaan to make a point - there was simply no reason for him to do it - he knew the princess was lying and he could have made his point any number of ways, but he instead decides to wipe out a few million Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1117196532186773552005-05-27T08:14:00.000-04:002005-05-27T08:22:12.193-04:00RotS's MessageGood guy, Anakin Skywalker, is turned to evil by being told that he must protect those he loves through any means necessary. He is told that the Jedi are traitors and he then slaughters man, woman, and child to wipe out the enemy.If you're not with him, you're an enemy.Only Sith deal in absolutes.I would have loved to have heard Sen. Frist extoll and praise Owens for the way she shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1117043671097109352005-05-25T13:46:00.000-04:002005-05-25T13:54:31.126-04:00Shoulda Stuck It OutI'm pissed that my gang has squandered the opportunity to stick it to the other side. I'm deeply disappointed that we couldn't see an actual honest to goodness filibuster. I'm also hip deep in trial prep on three cases that are 'go' in June.So I'll turn this over to the Protein Wisdom blog:Democratic Senators should have been forced to shut down the Senate in order to block Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116951442131410772005-05-24T12:12:00.000-04:002005-05-24T12:17:22.136-04:00Begin the Familial Smackdown!Just got an email from my sister regarding my post on the Nukular Option. Subject line? "You Idiot..." (she was sweet about it though).Nowhere is it mentioned that I was making fun of a leader of the free world who has his undergrad from Yale, his MBA from Harvard, and yet is the only person in his family who cannot correctly pronounce the word "nuclear".Nor does shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116946368014458972005-05-24T10:41:00.000-04:002005-05-24T10:52:48.020-04:00The Nukyular OptionYeah, Dems (and other freedom-loving people) hate these nominees, but more than that, we were worried about the complete consolidation of power into one massive interest (which wasn't shared by the majority of the people, by the way).All in all, I'm happy with the outcome. Bush has his lowest ratings. Dems have retained the right to protect me from the usherance of another shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116945394661702832005-05-24T10:33:00.000-04:002005-05-24T10:36:34.666-04:00My First Posting from Forbes?The region, according to the researchers, handles the task of detecting hidden meaning, a crucial component of sarcasm. If that part of the brain is out of commission, the irony doesn't come through, the scientists report in the May issue of Neuropsychology. [Source]Of course they did. I'm so glad that this money was well spent.Begin the race to accuse each other of shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116896224462580952005-05-23T20:39:00.000-04:002005-05-23T21:00:06.826-04:00ChickenshitsSenators Avert Showdown Over FilibustersWASHINGTON - Averting a showdown, centrists from both parties reached agreement Monday night on a compromise that clears the way for confirmation votes on many ofPresident Bush's stalled judicial nominees, leaves others in limbo and preserves venerable Senate filibuster rules.The venerable Senate Filibuster Rules that only seem to be important Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116528763789748072005-05-19T14:50:00.000-04:002005-05-19T14:52:43.796-04:00OneFinally, a movie about the danger in allowing one power to consolidate power over a government. And I'm not talking about Fahrenheit 9/11.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116424726095473662005-05-18T09:47:00.000-04:002005-05-18T09:59:14.983-04:00Just Do ItFilibuster! Filibuster!! Only Democrats can use that technique!! Republicans are not allowed!! How dare he?Admittedly, I haven't been following this as closely as maybe I should be, but I don't give a fuck. (See earlier posts that attempted to illustrate my disdain for the entire process, as it is impossible to predict how judges will act on the issues that they actually rule on, not Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116349558945755952005-05-17T13:04:00.000-04:002005-05-17T13:05:58.950-04:00Boba FettAparently my independentness outweighted my Mr. Fixit-nessHenry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116342491541242642005-05-17T10:49:00.000-04:002005-05-17T11:08:11.546-04:00What Condoms Cannot Do: Filibuster[...]Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., confirmed that he intends to place a hold on [Lester] Crawford's nomination [to head the FDA] if it gets out of the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee. His spokesman, John Hart, said Coburn is concerned that the FDA under Crawford's leadership as acting commissioner has not implemented a law requiring new labels shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116291866374236852005-05-16T21:00:00.000-04:002005-05-16T21:04:26.380-04:00I Doubt ItI'm just not buying it. And I would've used the lightsabre to make my own door on the bus, but that wasn't an option.If I could pick, I would probably want to be Wedge Antilles - obscure but necessaryBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116181662123842762005-05-15T14:24:00.000-04:002005-05-15T14:27:42.130-04:00Quiz TimeI got Dooku at first:But then, though hard work and perseverance, I managed to get Vader, as well:What did I never get that I really wanted?Sniff.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1116014066491203742005-05-13T15:48:00.000-04:002005-05-13T15:54:26.496-04:00Blog RoundupHeh. Indeed. This is incredibly funny - and it prevents me from having to link to her 'blog': www.huffingtonstoast.comSpeaking of blogs filled with people that you just have to feel sorry for: americansforbayh.blogspot.com - this one is worth it only because in off-election years it makes you realize that many people are 'politically active' simply because they have no life of theirBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115927432335652912005-05-12T15:49:00.000-04:002005-05-12T15:50:32.343-04:00FictionologyDuh. Everybody not named Barbra knows that.Does one feel rested after having dreams about their political enemies? I'm rested after dreaming about fucking.Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115921463750125032005-05-12T10:47:00.000-04:002005-05-12T14:11:04.370-04:00You Don't Own $%*^Tell me, Mr. "I'm Just Concerned For The Future Of The American Judiciary", without Googling an answer, are Federal Sentencing Guidelines a Republican or a Democratic Issue when it comes to selecting Judges?I failed to see your acknowledgement of my correct answer in your reply. I appreciate the history lesson, but the failure to note that I correctly jumped through your hoop shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115865952737078382005-05-11T22:20:00.000-04:002005-05-11T22:45:54.390-04:00Yes, as a Matter of Fact, I Do Own You.As keeper of freaky voodoo shit, I own you. And L. Ron Hubbard, too. *And*, I have to ask for help on how to use apostrophes. Really. And I'm easily one of the smartest people I know. The funny thing about Sentencing Guidelines is that they infuriate everybody. Originally conceived as a "Law And Order" effort of the 1970s to get tough on crime, they Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115836053360491732005-05-11T14:27:00.000-04:002005-05-11T14:27:33.366-04:00A Break from PoliticsTo praise the Increasingly Relevant Onion for taking a few cheap shots at Scientology - Scientology Losing Ground to New FictionologyCoupled with last weeks digs at the Amazing New Hyperbole Chamber, it's good to see them going back to their roots and getting out of the rut they'd been in for the last few months.You can never take too many cheap shots at Scientologists.L. RonBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115819903852299222005-05-11T09:58:00.000-04:002005-05-11T10:01:19.903-04:00Graphic ContentWarning!!! explicit Anna Nicole story : "she kept taking it out of my mouth. Marilyn started humping Puppy's face"My last post sucked.Henry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115809344661857722005-05-11T06:53:00.000-04:002005-05-11T07:02:25.150-04:00Georgia on My MindYesterday morning, the last dream I had right before I woke up was that someone had something bad happen to him.Then I woke up this morning and learned that it had almost happened.You do remeber what "almost" means, don't you, Brian?shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115808798730345592005-05-11T06:50:00.000-04:002005-05-11T06:53:19.120-04:00Still Plenty of TimeI only camped out one night before "Phantom Mneace". I might pop by and pick up some tickets this week, but there are still two midnight showings that aren't sold out. I appreciate your concern, though. It's touching.Poor Bai Ling.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115752534836114762005-05-10T15:14:00.000-04:002005-05-10T15:15:34.840-04:00Shouldn't You Be In A Line Somewhere?Seriously, shouldn't you be waiting in a line?Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115747368102139702005-05-10T13:34:00.000-04:002005-05-10T13:49:29.070-04:00Let there be no doubtI am left of Brian and Terry, but right of Babs Streisand. Further proof:Liberals, after all, founded our nation. They were skeptical of the power of any institution - be it corporate (the Boston Tea Party was an anti-globalization protest against the world's largest transnational corporation, the East India Company), religious (Ben Franklin left Massachusetts for shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115745902896903622005-05-10T13:12:00.000-04:002005-05-10T13:25:03.923-04:00Star Wars!I can't believe the sith have the same motto as cobra kai from karate kid. "show no mercy" maybe we'll see the emporer tell darth vader " sweep the leg, you got a problem with that?" [Source]Nervous trepidation. The reviews are pouring in, claiming that it's the best of the prequels (super difficult feat there, eh?), including the one I was most concerned about, the one for shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115745060433840852005-05-10T12:57:00.000-04:002005-05-10T13:11:01.366-04:00No Googling?Screw you, man. You're not the boss of me. You can't tell me what to do.Before I answer your baiting question, in the manner you prescribed (i.e., no Googling), I'd like to point out that you spent a lot of money on an education that is wasted if you can't even distinguish between "effect" and "affect". Go ahead and bring on the legal smarminess; I at least know how to use the shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115739391947112122005-05-10T11:36:00.000-04:002005-05-10T11:36:32.546-04:00Don't be an Ass Hole this is still China
My Way News: "'Although the maximum penalty is 10 years in jail for each count, he has repeated his crime with hundreds of victims and these crimes would add up,' Lt. Colonel Dhamnoon Munkong said."
Joni tried to warn themHenry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115686560347953862005-05-09T20:49:00.000-04:002005-05-09T20:56:00.826-04:00Uncle FesterFrom the "It's a Free Country Dept.":Since 1985, everybody's favorite Uncle has been writing the books which have defined the field of clandestine chemistry. My books have been described as the pinnacle of 20th century underground writing, and through them I have transformed this genre.Oh well. It's a free country.I'd like to see this guy's book on "Dealing With Paranoia and Meth BugsBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115484926989048562005-05-07T12:31:00.000-04:002005-05-07T12:55:27.510-04:00Stop the InsanityThere is a belief, largely prevelant amongst the chattering classes that judges come to the bench carved in ideological stone that is impervious to change.This is, what we call in the law world, bullshit.Judges are human beings, and they change - often times at the peril of those who supported their appointment. Not that anyone whose been drinking the present Lefty Kool Aid is Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115469329014640332005-05-07T08:22:00.000-04:002005-05-07T08:35:29.546-04:00I'm sorry, but what is the problem supposed to be?Republican appointees now constitute a majority of judges on 10 of the nation's 13 federal appeals courts. As few as three more lifetime appointments on key courts would tip the balance in favor of GOP appointees on all but one appeals court - the Ninth US Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco. [Christian Science Monitor]I'm sorry, but this isshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115299579085231142005-05-05T09:23:00.000-04:002005-05-05T09:26:33.433-04:00Defeat the French and Drink More TequilaFrom Encyclopedia Britannica Online edition:1862: Battle of Puebla commemorated as Cinco de MayoOn this day, the Mexican army of the government of Benito Juárez, led by General Ignacio Zaragoza, repelled the invading French forces of Napoleon III at the Battle of Puebla. Napoleon was attempting to establish a French satellite in Mexico. In honour of its Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115257645618675892005-05-04T21:41:00.000-04:002005-05-04T21:47:26.043-04:00I didn't want to have to do this, but you made me> > On 5/3/05, Brian X. XXXXXXXX wrote:> > > Oh, and for the record - nobody has ever tried to grab my shit in or> > > out of uniform. What the hell is the matter with you? You got> > > super voodoo shit that no one can keep their hands off of?> > >> > > BMaybe, maybe not. In the span of twelve hours, I have received two overtly sexual emails shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115257001280614692005-05-04T21:35:00.000-04:002005-05-04T21:36:41.286-04:00Super Voodoo ShitI got it and others want it.Nobody said that it couldn't be posted to my own websiteBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115256993224862442005-05-04T21:34:00.000-04:002005-05-04T21:36:33.686-04:00Pop!I was going to post this as a comment to Brian's previous post, but what the hey.As a representative of the Dr. Pepper company, I will personally write a check to Pvt. England for $1M in exchange for her solemn promise to never be seen with our product again.What would we change the motto to? "It tastes so good, it will torture you."Actually, you know how it goes. New mother, producing milkshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115239795339187802005-05-04T16:45:00.000-04:002005-05-04T16:49:55.956-04:00Soda?Can the little white trash girl go more then five minutes without a freaking soda?Guy walks into a store and says "I'll have an RC Cola and a Moon Pie." The proprietor says "You must be from Texas!" The guy says, "You know that because I ordered an RC Cola and Moon Pie?" "No, because this is a hardware store, you idiot."I know, she's from West Virginia, but the joke is too good.Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115149243446473382005-05-03T15:34:00.000-04:002005-05-03T15:40:43.446-04:00How can you charge for a Pot Luck?Here at XYZ Corporation we are doing a fund raiser for our local Performing Arts Foundation. This comes from an email sent to all associates:Don’t forget to bring a dish to pass for the PAF Potluck tomorrow. Food can be brought to the Warehouse at 11:30. Remember if you bring a dish to pass you will be entered to win fabulous prizes!Cost to enjoy lunch is only Henry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1115071337442168622005-05-02T17:51:00.000-04:002005-05-02T18:05:34.826-04:00Penalogical InterestI don't post much about my job here - none of us do - but occassionally you bump into something that's so outrageous, you have to tell the world.On the phone with a juvenile client at the local kiddie prison. We're talking about my last correspondence with him and he tells me that the guards had removed some of my letter to him. The letter was attached to copies of the Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114787708685799632005-04-29T11:10:00.000-04:002005-04-29T11:15:08.686-04:00Stooges. Morons. Tools.Are a few of the more charitable things I could call the poeple who redacted this image:This undated photo, released by the U.S. Department of Defense April 28, 2005, shows the casket of a U.S. military service member being carried by soldiers at an undisclosed location. The faces of the soldiers were obscured by the Defense Department before release. The photo, along Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114476615527647022005-04-25T20:39:00.000-04:002005-04-25T20:50:15.530-04:00GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!President Bush greets Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah at his ranch in Crawford, Texas Monday, April 25, 2005. President Bush is seeking relief from record-high gas prices and support for Middle East peace as he opens his Texas ranch to Abdullah. Saudi Arabia is the world's largest oil producer.Well, from what I've heard about Arab Shieks, he's going about it the right way.LetBriannoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114465996052499542005-04-25T17:46:00.000-04:002005-04-25T17:53:16.053-04:00Celebrity BloggingTwo things immediately come to mind re: the last posting (three, actually, but his offense re: tits is not as egregious as others):1) Is the conventional wisdom that's floating around these days that rich and famous people involved in politics is a bad thing?2) I saw Maggie Gyllenhaal get spanked by James Spader in the movie Secretary and it was hot. And the chick came back forBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114463610487959702005-04-25T17:13:00.000-04:002005-04-25T17:13:30.486-04:00What's missing from this list
The New York Times > Technology > A Boldface Name Invites Others to Blog With Her: "Having prominent people join the blogosphere, Ms. Huffington said in an interview, 'is an affirmation of its success and will only enrich and strengthen its impact on the national conversation.' Among those signed up to contribute are Walter Cronkite, David Mamet, Nora Ephron, Warren Henry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114435727974473792005-04-25T09:19:00.000-04:002005-04-25T09:28:47.976-04:00If you're greeted by this on Sunday Morning. . .You either need a new church or a new political party. There is enough pander here to make Bill Clinton blush. This is pathetic. But wait, there's more - buried in the artcle:About 2,000 people packed into the Highview Baptist Church here for the telecast, and organizers said it was broadcast to several hundred churches by satellite, thousands ofBriannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114184462391159182005-04-22T11:40:00.000-04:002005-04-22T11:41:15.363-04:00Screw You GuysYou want breasts? I'll give you breasts.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114103176069972552005-04-21T13:02:00.000-04:002005-04-21T13:06:16.070-04:00Non Papal Related PostA cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114030584113060472005-04-20T16:53:00.000-04:002005-04-20T16:56:24.113-04:00Germanic GlandsBeen buried in IIS logs all week. Good way to screw up Tit FortnightHenry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114020001126543672005-04-20T13:54:00.000-04:002005-04-20T14:00:01.126-04:00Afternoon EnfiladeThere have been numerous posts over the last few days while I prepared for trial. They all seem to address some ancient and long forgotten set of political beliefs, although the religious nature of them suggests otherwise.There are no pictures of breasts. This poster has made a mockery of Tit Fortnight and must immediately post photographs of breasts or else suffer some Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1114001285799211312005-04-20T08:17:00.000-04:002005-04-20T08:48:05.800-04:00Morning SalvoHomeland Security listed ALF and ELF as domestic terrorist threats. Deaths resulting from these groups: 0. No right-wing nutjob groups were listed. Deaths resulting from right-wing nutjobs: 168 from the OKC bombing alone. WTF?CDC is all in an uproar when their statistics over the leading causes of death are internally disputed. The order was: tobacco, diet/overweight, alcohol, shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113937784071316302005-04-19T15:07:00.000-04:002005-04-19T15:09:44.073-04:00Actual Overheard Conversation"I don't think Baptists have a Pope.""Why not?""I think I would have heard about one if we did."Wow. That was stunning. I wonder who she voted for?OK, Schiavo, John Paul II, and Rainier. Who's next?shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113932568257974202005-04-19T13:39:00.000-04:002005-04-19T13:42:48.256-04:00Oh, HellIt's Ratzinger. I was joking about the footnote to my last post, but it actually seems like it might actually be applicable.Well, Catholics of the world, enjoy your new Pope!I think it's funny when an organization talks about how we have to stay away from moral relativism when they actually have a history of ordering torture and executions because they didn't like what people said, shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113932320446521942005-04-19T13:33:00.000-04:002005-04-19T13:38:40.446-04:00Ay, Popey!White smoke at morning, Catholics take warning;White smoke at night, Catholics' delight?I, for one, welcome our new Vatican overlords and remind them that as a blogger I would be extremely useful in controlling our more unruly elements.Time for a long footnote...As a member of the Liberal Left, I feel that I must immediately condemn the Vatican's choice of ___________________ as the newshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113924327539305222005-04-19T11:18:00.000-04:002005-04-19T11:25:27.540-04:00All Hail Norway, Our New Land of Heroes!Why the accolade? Because only the Norwegians had the insight and gumption to violate Matt Groening's copyright so beautifully.A Norwegian built a scale model of Bender from Futurama and put a computer inside it. CDs are inserted in the mouth. Brilliant.I don't understand Norwegian, but the links at the bottom of the pages to move to the next page are shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113834474370912312005-04-18T10:17:00.000-04:002005-04-18T10:27:54.373-04:00We've turned a corner!The last month has not been a good one for President Bush and the Republicans. Most people have opposed the President’s proposals for reforming Social Security and most were unhappy with the positions taken by Republicans in the Terri Schiavo case. The result is that the president’s job ratings have fallen to 44 percent positive, 56 percent negative, the worst numbers of hisshawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113682827332988052005-04-16T16:16:00.000-04:002005-04-16T16:20:27.333-04:00Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!This is the funniest thing I have ever seen:What? You mean they're serious?!?! WTF? Wake up, sheeple: religious people of every stripe end up on benches and that's never been a problem. The problem comes from being an idiot and using bits and pieces of the Bible to rule on a case. Judges are supposed to use the law and their good judgment, not the Bible. Otherwise, more shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113675659689709552005-04-16T14:17:00.000-04:002005-04-16T14:21:48.396-04:00And we all know what that leads to...Riverdance.And that's partly queer with a chance of fag.Yes, I like Dave Attell's stand up routine, even if he does look like Andre Agassi with a drinking problem.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113574853877748812005-04-15T10:10:00.000-04:002005-04-15T10:20:53.880-04:00Let's try this . . . We're going to set WinAmp to play my music collection today. There are 2,204 tracks in my collection and in the last few minutes we've heard from Sheryl Crow, Veggie Tales, Don Henley and Meat Loaf.Today's set come from Bikini Beach World in Byron Bay, New South Wales.The late Andrea Dworkin would say that all this tit posting would eventually lead to violence against women.Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113571613771563142005-04-15T09:25:00.000-04:002005-04-15T09:27:29.676-04:00Not that these people deserve more web traffic......but this is incredibly hard to believe.Wholesomewear.com produces swimwear from another era (or mentality). Concerned that only Jewish and Islamic fundamentalists seem to find ways to keep their women covered up? Fear no more! Everything that "God" created can be hidden from view!Available in three styles.Actually, these swimsuits will be shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113528332414607762005-04-14T21:24:00.000-04:002005-04-14T21:25:32.416-04:00Not quite titsHey, Fox "News" has nothing but boobs, yet they make no corrections!Zing!shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113516237421242662005-04-14T17:58:00.000-04:002005-04-14T18:06:36.873-04:00Corrections!When was the last time that New York Times was happy to post a correction?The decision to name three slime-mold beetles after Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, however, didn't have anything to do with physical features, says Quentin Wheeler, a professor of entomology and of plant biology at Cornell for 24 years until last October, but to pay homage to the U.S. leaders. "We admire these Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113499409015333892005-04-14T13:22:00.000-04:002005-04-14T13:23:29.016-04:00Nice TitsI guess she's someone famous. Whatever, with boys like those she'll go farHenry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113493284048983932005-04-14T11:38:00.000-04:002005-04-14T11:41:24.050-04:00We are talking about wild animals not Morris the Cat. This turned into a rant - But let me be clear. I am an Animal Lover especially cats.This whole feral Cat thing is best summed up by a coworker who has a barn full of Feral Cats she never invited. ”Anyone who doesn’t think they shouldn’t be shot should be locked up in my barn with them for a day”. Per state law she can’t kill them. She’d have Henry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113487247109019302005-04-14T09:53:00.000-04:002005-04-14T10:00:47.113-04:00Modern Journalism at it's FinestAs equally childish as the previously mentioned "art"work:Slime-mold Beetles Named for Bush, Cheney and RumsfeldThree new beetles of the genus Agathidium have been named after members of the current administration: A. bushi, A. cheneyi and A. rumsfeldi.Two former Cornell University entomologists, Quentin Wheeler and Kelly Miller, were in charge of naming 65 new Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113480370692436242005-04-14T08:02:00.000-04:002005-04-14T08:06:10.693-04:00Fear not, TerryGood luck on the Great Feral Cat Hunt. Now you need not worry about rabies any more.Stray dogs should be next on the hunting list, right?This is but one way in which Wisconsin can catch up with Minnesota and South Dakota.My questions is: what do you do with the meat?shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113480018624036802005-04-14T07:54:00.000-04:002005-04-14T08:00:18.626-04:00I might not know art...The one of Mother Theresa done up like a demon disturbs me a little, but then again, I'm not an artist. As my opinion of the law is invalidated by my lack of a legal education, so my opinion of art is invalidated by my limited art education.shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113476863312215512005-04-14T06:52:00.000-04:002005-04-14T07:07:43.313-04:00Welcome to New York, Mr. ScaliaIn asking about Scalia's dissent in Lawrence v. Texas and his view that privacy is not constitutionally protected, Eric Berndt, a law student, shocked the crowd by asking, "Do you sodomize your wife?"[Source]Seems like a fair question to me. I don't have a fancy law degree, but my understanding of Scalia's dissent[1] was that allowing consenting adults to commit shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113475782357929022005-04-14T06:44:00.000-04:002005-04-14T06:49:42.356-04:00No tits for me, thanks.Working on a borrowed laptop in the mornings. Although I plan on clearing up my tracks when I return it, I'll just avoid the whole soft-core porn thing on this laptop.In somewhat related news, why didn't anyone tell me about Asia Carrera's baby? What will this do to her career? Does this mean that her new material will be severely limited?Cue the "Welcome Back Kotter" shawnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00210825086540854140noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113431585492818342005-04-13T18:22:00.000-04:002005-04-13T18:35:56.196-04:00Napoleon DynamiteSo it wasn't us? Napoleon Dynamite frickin' sucked for everyone who gets all the jokes in Bowling For Soup's lyrics?True: I rented it b/c I heard it was this total cult classic and the video store didn't have Eating Raoul on DVD (Trig's does) or Underworld. Got it home, explained to my bride that it was this award winning cult thing that has gotten rave reviews.Half an hour Briannoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113425159557234682005-04-13T16:25:00.000-04:002005-04-13T16:48:38.896-04:00It's never too earlyLet's start tit week today, hell lets make it a Tit fortnightWhile not technically pink fleshy tits, when I saw this image my first thought was Hmmm nice tits.Dodo Heads, Ditto Heads, now I get it. I've been staying away from Hate radio lately and have been listening to Opie and Anthony on XM.Henry Wirznoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5278005.post-1113416135314093162005-04-13T14:13:00.000-04:002005-04-13T14:15:35.316-04:00OH Yeeaaahhh!Welcome back from the self imposed sabbatical!I think that starting next week, all posts should include tits. This will deeply effect the posting abilities for those still working for the man, but will not effect the posting abilities of those working against the man.Briannoreply@blogger.com0